Hi Stella, Thanks again for helping me find the writer of the post I reprinted. It was during the phase that you're in that I needed to keep the OW-thang into perspective the most. I, too, lived far away from H when we began piecing.
I think it's encouraging that your H felt safe enough to share the events involved in pulling away from the embarassment he almost lost you and his life over. While it's hard to hear, it means everything that he was open enough to tell you about it.
I remember when my H went through that phase of trying to tell OW that "Um, gee, you know that marriage that I told you was dead? Well, um, turns out that it wasn't really the way I remembered it at the time and I'm going back..." He discussed her reactions with me and as he asked me for suggestions, he stopped dead and said "I can not BELIEVE I'm asking my wife how to break up with my gf!" Those were just surreal moments. OW knew, on some level, that our H's were never theirs. The only thing that could justify their involvement was "winning" the prize. Instead, he chose you. As you rightly noted, she is in panic mode and your husband will only see her as pathetic and manipulative with each desperate ploy.
So yeah. You can't go crazy for two months. Trust will come with constancy. Just have faith, for now, that he's cleaning up his mess and learning how to peel the monkey off his back... I had the same problem and told him, after a reasonable amount of time, that she'd just have to find new friends to help her with her financial and emotional woes. But I had to hear about how he had to help her for way longer than I wanted to. Patience. I know you probably hate that word, but....
