Is it true?

[stella_k]

ok, more drama !

Yesterday I've called my mother and found out that: 1. My H's old teacher N, who has become a very close friend and one of the most important people in my H's life has died day before yesterday.
2. That my H has found a job, apparently a very good one.

When I asked her how come she knows all that (and I don't) she told me that H has called her 30 min ago. I sat down and cried for the first time since I've got on meds. I loved N and his wife and they loved me and I couldn't believe that my H didn't bother to tell me about his death. Not to mention the new job.
The fact that he called my mother made it even worse, as both my H and, sadly, I, have very strong negative feelings about her.
According to H, my mother's attitude was one of the primary reasons (other than my own faults) why our marrige has shattered.

Well, I thought, I should call him anyway. I called and he wasn't home. I could have called on his cell, of course, but somehow I didn't feel like it.

After crying some more I finally sat down to write a post (long and whiny). I was in the middle of it when H has called. I said I'm so sorry about poor N and whether he has gone to see his wife, because I was calling and he wasn't there. From the way H said "No" i knew that he's been with OW. Gut feeling. Instead of asking him directly, however, I spoke some more about N and the new job and then asked him whether he is all right (he definitely didn't sound so).
After a very short pause he said: No, I'm not. Then he told me the story. It turned out he took heartbroken and depressed OW to see IC to help her get over him . She got on meds as well (what a lovely bunch of Nuts!). Something went wrong, though, and after taking her pills she fainted when about to get into her car, got a mild concussion and didn't regain consciousness for 40 min (or so she says). Of course she called H from the hospital, so he went to collect her. I couldn't help it and gave a muffled laugh. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that someone (anyone!) fainting and getting a concussion is funny but the whole sitch starts getting totally ridiculous. So far, he has been dealing - respectively - with her dying of pnevmonia, having nowhere to go, getting depressed, having concussion... What's next?

I couldn't help it and asked H: will it EVER end?
To which he replied: I hope so...

Now I don't really know what to make out of it.

Positive: H told me the whole thing on his own accord. And he didn't sound distant at all. Embarassed, if anything.
Negative: H is still entangled in the spider's web.

I know that NO CONTACT is a must thing, but I don't want to demand from H to stop seeing OW yet, for several reasons:

1. I don't think he is completely out of the tunnel. Which means, promise or no promise, he will see her.
2. I think she's panicking, which means she will start (continue) making wrong moves. H already has referred to the whole OW sitch as "horror".
3. I'm not going to be there for another two months and I don't want to drive myself crazy thinking whether he's sticking to what he's promised.
4. I want to show him that I trust him. Which I don't.
5. Am I a doormat?

Somehow I believe that the PA has ended and didn't resume. May be I'm wrong. I'm dying to call H and ask him directly but I think it won't do any good.

Any thoughts/comments are welcome!