Your situation sounds really tough for you at the moment. I take my hat off to you, you are still having to deal with the deception.
Originally Posted By: JeffSTL
She is physically and mentally detached from me already and I don't think confronting her would accomplish anything.
My job is to be the better person, and take care of the kids.
My experience is when someone is mentally detached from us (let alone physically too) and we try to voice our disapproval about what is going on/has gone on, it is wasted as they don't seem to care anyway. You are right to put your energies into surviving this gracefully and being a great dad. You sound like you are doing a very good job in that area!
Getting angry with my H did nothing, I decided to get angry about him with other people, not with him. At the moment I am focusing on being a good co-parent with him.
Me:36 M:16 D final: 08/09 Ds:10&5 Ss:8&3 Bomb 3xPA 200 sexual encounters 15/06/08
Good night happycamper, I know its late where you are at.
Thanks for checking in on me, I'll be fine, I have everything I want right now, my babies, my house, my job, my friends, I just have to get rid of the W and move on with my life.
Its hard, to see W all dressed up and ready for OM, when it use to be me.
I've met several girls so far, and I know I cannot do anything about it, until I get my life in order, which includes divorce. I am not the one people should look to for advise, my only comment would be if S will not give up OP, throw spouse out (TSO)
Goognight sweetheart, you will find love again. God, please take care of her, another one is here, why God, what have we done, more and more people keep coming here, make it stop.
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Hey happycamper, its 10:00pm here, kids all in bed, goodnight.
I got the call today I was expecting:
W's mom called me, and said she knew what was going on, offered me money if I needed it, I declined, I could never take money from W's parents.
She said she knows it wasn't my fault, that I have been there for W and kids from day one.
I appologized to her, because right before Christmas I found out about OM and I wasn't the best host for christmas dinner when she was over at our house.
She said she had a great D L for me if I wanted the name and phone number, I told her I was going to let W have some time before I went to L to discuss D.
I told her that she was always welcome over at the house, that my door would always be open to her, she was crying, she said she knew I would not do anything to keep her from her grandchildren.
I thanked her for everything she has done for me and W and she said she loved me (several times) and I told her I loved her too. She said W cut off contact with her, that she doesn't know who her daughter is anymore, she said that her daughter had everything in the world going for her, good man, beautiful children, nice house and friends and family.
She doesn't understand her daughter, is so upset with her, again said if I ever needed anything she would be there for me.
I told her I was moving the kids up to my old room (its bigger for the 3 girls) on Saturday, she said she wanted to stop by and help. I told her she was more than welcome.
She told me again that she loved me and she would be their for me and the children.
I know W's mom is not happy with what W did and I'm pretty much certain that she know about OM because she said, that she told W that if she couldn't talk to her about what she was doing that if she was ashamed to the point she couldn't tell her mom, she was doing something wrong.
On a different note: took kids to the pool tonight, they had a band up there and we had a great time. God must be testing me, because, I met 2 girls up at the pool, very beautiful, talked several times. They were driving me crazy, one of them has a son in my D6 and D6 class and I know she is single and she had a girlfriend with her. God, why do you keep showing me girls when you know I cannot do anything.
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
I'm glad you have a good relationship with your MIL, it will be great to keep that continuity for the children.
I think it must be very hard for the parents to see some of what is going on. In dec 07 my SIL's A came out and her H was very hurt indeed. She was carrying on in front of her H, putting her make-up on and doing her hair while he watched her, leaving the house to be with her OM in front of him. It ruined her R with her parents - they can't believe what their D has become. It's been very sad to watch.
Very glad you have that support, you sure deserve it.
Me:36 M:16 D final: 08/09 Ds:10&5 Ss:8&3 Bomb 3xPA 200 sexual encounters 15/06/08
Hey happycamper, thanks for checking in on me, it is nice to have the support of IL's MIL is behind me 100%, my FIL wants to stay out of it completely, doesn't want to get involved and I understand that. I told MIL that I didn't want to get between her and her daughter, she said my W cut off all ties to her last year.
I had a terrible nightmare last night, 2:00am dream about W and OM, we were fighting, etc. bad dream. It must have been brought on by D9 and her friend (friend stayed over last night) they were up at 2:00am and had the TV on, I got up to tell them to go to bed. W use to always come home from work around 2:00am and watch some TV before bed.
Raining, is St Louis, and cool, no pool today, friend up the street invited me and the kids over this evening, to BBQ and sit around and have a couple of beers. Just picked up D6 and D6 new beds for their room upstairs, they are excited, already picked out what bed is who's and are up there now jumping on them, that would drive W crazy
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Hi Jeff, The rain ruined a parade my parents went to this afternoon. I went shopping instead, but got caught in a huge traffic jam on 270.
Glad that you are still doing well.
My MIL called me a few weeks ago and said (and I quote) that her son is a SOB. Now didn't she tecnically just call herself a name? Hmmm?? She is really shocked over this whole ordeal and told me that he will never find another woman as wonderful as me. That as far as she is concerned, I will always be a part of her family and it will be hard for her to welcome the OW into it. The thing is that I always found MIL to be a little bit crazy. Didn't come to my bridal shower because her and H were had argued about some little stupid thing the day before, always says bizarre things. Can I get divorced from her as well? Haha!
Please say a prayer for me about tomorrow, Jeff. I am scared.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
I'm glad MIL came through for you and the girls Jeff, it is so sad to see the IL's side with the crazy one. Same thing here, stbx is being an ubber jerk to his mom, and she is sorry and hurt to see what kind of looser her son has become.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
