Thanks you all your support means the world to me ~ really.

I have not had the talk yet but I think I will tomorrow.
PLus the extra $ doesnt hurt either. Today alone I probably made close to 200 dollars.
So I have fun and I get paid for it....

There are alot of positives going on and I am doing well in the backing off initiating so much, but I am still letting him know I am up for having fun by massaging his back and giving lots of physical closeness. being playful.

The other day he called me and sang to me .... I just called to say I love you and I mean it from the bottom....
he was so sweet. And we even went for a walk.
All things that keep my love tank full.

We are getting along well... and it really sometimes feels like I am dreaming to be honest.
Sure he has his occasional outburst but he is human.

I am going to see the Dr. on Monday.
I have been having alot of discomforts and just a general feeling of exhaustion.
Swelling of the feet, tingling.of the feet,heart palpations and headaches.... this is how I felt last time I had anemia. Last time the DR. told me he was surprised I could function with how my bloodwork came back.

A lady at work told me to get checked out for diabetes too.
uuuggh~...

I am feeling just exhausted today and before I started to tear up and my H said what is the matter ?
I said ..
I dunno..
I just dont feel good and started crying.

For some reason he gets frustrated when I am weak.Or sick....
last time I had Anemia he was also sex starved and so he didnt ubderstand it or have the desire too. I felt so hurt by that.
So this time around I will talk to him about it and I need him to be supportive...... I need to feel that he has my back ...

Last time he just expected me to wave a wand and be well again.
It took me nearly 2 years to get better. I think that is where the tears come in aside from be feeling upset that I may be "sick" again. It brings back old memories I would rather not remember at all.

I pray this time he can be supportive... I really do.
God bless...
~Ali