Hi purple. I understand where you are coming from with needing time to process before 'sending'. When I would get into verbal exchanges about R with H, I would almost totally shut down (& I am the extroverted one
What helped us was that I would email.. he would use a program that let him record a message and then email it to me. (sort of like voice mail, but no limit on time). My H is also challenged to communicate electronically, finger dextarity is not his strong suit and accessibility. We have tried 'chat' and I think he now understands how frustrating it is for me (& vice-versa) when we have verbal chat, as I can outtype him, where as he can out talk me.
I also found writing down my thoughts in an email.. saving a draft and coming back to it later, allowed me time to process it again before I sent it. I also found that once I had written it, it was easier some how to say it to him (as I had a few things in drafts that never got sent before we talked face-to-face.)
sounds like the lines of communication are opening a bit. Have you each read about empathetic listening? & how much of communication is about active listening?? It is amazing how much we think we understand about what they said, without checking with the other person.
Good luck!
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
