I haven't been posting much because not much is happening. Just moving along through this new life. W is doing her thing and I'm doing mine. Abby still is with me 90% of the time.
Today was a good day though. Abby graduated from pre-school. They had a great little ceremony and I was so proud of my normally shy little girl. She was frinkin' adorable. Tonight I took her to dinner at a pasta restaurant where a friend of mine works at. Two ex-coworkers walked by and came in to say hello. I know they probably talked about me after "he's at a graduation dinner with just him and D"....how sad. oh well.
Earlier this week I really just wanted to scream at the world. Everyone says "he's doing so well...he's so strong.....he'll be fine." My friend (same one who works at restaurant) told me he sees the truth. He knows I'm hurting and just good at hiding it. I just want to yell at everyone. My life is just so crazy! But I'll stay strong for Abby's sake.
Got a b-day party to go to tomorrow for Abby. Another thing I never used to do but am getting used to now. Gotta hang w/ 5-6 year old girls all day. Maybe one will have a single mom....haha.
Abby is great though...whenever we are at she continously says "I love you." She almost made me cry tonight on the way home. Who need W when I've got Abby.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
Abby's graduation from pre-school is on the 10 year anniversary when wife and I first went out. I remember too much....guess that is my history degree background.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
Hey AD finally found your new thread. Good to see you are doing ok. It makes one feel awesome when their kids say that. It breaks my heart when my son asks "when I am coming home to my real home", tear up everytime.
I didn't know you had a history degree, I was going to school for that but then changed majors.
I originally graduated with a history degree but never used it. Later on I was in school for accounting but put that on hold. Maybe I'll got back.
Yeah, Abby just tells people she has two homes. Guess its pretty normal. We are heading for a b-day party shortly, her best friend from next door. We'll see how this goes?
Things that bothers me about W is she rarely calls about Abby. She never calls to say good night on rarely calls on days she doesn't see Abby. Hard to figure....I think of Abby all the time, especially when I haven't seen her in a day.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
You seem to be doing ok. I undestand and feel your frustration/pain. I have a history degree as well, and hate my memory sometimes. Many different things come up....sometimes its hard to find the positive things, esp. when all you think about is what went wrong.
Keep your heart with Abby.....because that's where it belongs. I imagine your frustration when it seems your W doesn't care about her. My W and I made it a point to call and say goodnite everynite whenever the other has them overnite. Mostly, it's me calling, but it's something I need to do. I hate not seeing them, probably as much as you do.
Keep it up!
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
Yeah, I know I have to also. Like hearing that little phone voice.
Today, has been frustrating and I'm down now. I was supposed to hang out tonight with a friend and haven't heard anything. Abby was extremely shy at the party so she stuck by me like glue. She wouldn't even eat her pizza until I was standing next to her. She's normally shy but after how outgoing she was yesterday at her graduation I figured she'd be okay. Wow!
I texted this to W while at the party and 3 hours later she responds. What a caring person.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
This is a little of topic but more to do with Abby. I was analyzing Abby at this party yesterday. She is beyond shy. I'm worried about her when she goes to kindergarden in August. She's really going to have a tough time.
Abby's been playing at the neighbors house for a couple years. I hear her talking to her friend and friends sister, but the grandmother told me Abby never says a word to them. In two years!!!
She doesn't talk to any adult other than family....and she doesn't talk to other kids once there is more than 3 at one time. I'm very worried about her future.
Any ideas out there or someone who's child was like this? I'm almost thinking therapy soon.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
alot of it could be the age. some kids are very shy. on top of that throw in the sitch she is experiencing. It accentuates it. That might not make sense, but my two are shy sometimes, but also not in others. It might depend on when they get comfortable with the people they are with. i wouldn't worry too much about it.
stop texting your W about stuff that she does. Seriously, man. You gotta stop that. You aren't helping your cause. Especially if you want to disconnect from her. Don't even think about doing it. I'll admit, I still have trouble sometimes with taht myself, but I usually type the message, then erase it. And you gotta stop caring what she does. I know, I know. easier said than done. But it's just something you need to do.
Good luck.
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
AD do not sweat it! My S6 was the exact same way, we never put him in daycare as I stayed home with him.He was very very shy and would not talk to any adults at all except us. And it even took him a while to play with the neighbor kids until I invited them over to play. I think it is a stage they go through, because now you can not get a word in at all when my son is talking.
He has changed immensely since he went to kindergarten and is now a social bug. He is very polite with all adults and very personable. I know the situation is tough on everyone especially Abby, but I would not get to crazy about her behaviors unless something drastically does not change. I think once she is exposed to more kids in a controlled but yet fun environment you will see the difference night and day!!
I hear what you guys are saying. But Abby has ALWAYS been like this and as she get more and more exposed to the outside world its getting worse. She's been in school for two years so she has teachers, other kids, etc. She talks to no adults except family and even then she's shy for a while. We'll wait and see once kindergarden starts. I think we are bad parents cause we never sign her up for anything...she wants to do karate but I'm scared we'll pay for it and she won't do it.
Neil, I hear what your saying...but that was my only text to her yesterday and it had to do with Abby. I haven't not texted my W anything other than Abby-related in over a week, I think. Actually on Thursday (weigh-day), I texted a bunch of people about me finally weighing in less than 190 and she wasn't one of them (but SIL was, ironic). So I really am detached from her life.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
