I've been out of communication and the house for two days. I have talked to the girls, but not W.
To tell you the truth it really sucks bad. I miss her deeply and I'm very uncomfortable away from home. I'm having doubts on the future because of the following:
* She has "already filed" for divorce
* She was/is quite adamant that she wants a divorce and nothing I say or do will change her mind.
* She won't listen to anyone that talks to her and just rejects everyone and any logic.
* Possible affair. Don't know if she is having an EA or PA, but she might be.
* Has told all family and friends that she is getting divorced. Even people we have not talked to in a while. I know this because people have asked me "Hey I heard you are getting divorced" etc.
* She pretty much ignores me and does not want to talk to me at all about anything.
* Seems to me she does not even want to be friends, which is really crushing me.
* Gambling guilt is probably taking a huge toll on her internally especially related to stress and our relationship. I think it's too much for her to face and she would rather just turn her back and run then face up to anything.
* She is 110% focused on past negativity and sees zero positives.
* She seems happy to be going out partying and could care less about neglecting the kids or anything else. Unless it is just a good front she puts on... I really cannot tell at this point. Women are extremely good at hiding their real moods.
I'm not sure what to do now. So far I have been dark for two days, but I'm not sure if that is the right choice.
Should I wait for her to contact me or should I try initiating something? I want to somehow test the waters so to speak, but don't know how.
My main concern or probably fear is that by continuing dark and waiting too long that she will just drift further and further away and possibly even look for EA or PA.
I'm wondering if staying dark will just help her validate that the divorce is the right thing to do. Basically that she'll get comfortable not having me around, which will just make trying to work anything out almost impossible.
In some previous posts I mentioned that the house has a lot of work left to do in terms of remodeling. I wonder if I should just go over there and start working on some stuff. Not with an intention of getting into some kind of R talk, but maybe to get an idea on her mood and maybe to try and let her see that my moods/actions are not just some short lived phase. I mean the house needs to be finished regardless of what is going on and she has zero money or skills to do any of it. What do you guys think?
- Scott
Original Thread Part 2 M-37 W-34 M 10 T 14 2 Ds 13
