For the Guy with kids and a WW5

[hopeful4her]

Last night was not like it has been this week. Something up?

No contact with roomie at all. I get home before she does. I find out from D11 that they are going to have Chinese. That is what we wanted the night prior.

The reason roomie wanted to drive herself, was she knew I was going to get off work a little later than normal and she expressed that she would get off a little earlier than normal and get home so they won't be home by themselves for too long.

The difference would have only been 30 minutes difference. If she got off like she wanted, she would have been home about an hour before me. I still beat her home.

She gets home just after me. She comes in and asks D's if they are ready. They aren't, of course. I am walking around and she tells me the girls called her and wanted Chinese tonight.

"Do you want to go?"

Not real enthusiastic. She says her little sister is going as well. I say ok. I ask if she got off late.

"No, not really. After work I went to my moms and then after that I put gas in the car and then came home."

She asks about my day. I tell her not much happened, but it was ok.

I get the feeling something just isn't right. Walking past her purse, I can see she has her checkbook again. Means she has her other phone again. Before last week, she was keeping her purse very close to her. Always closing. Putting on her side of the bed at night. Never did that before. Then she got the phone that I wasn't supposed to know about. This past week, purse has been out. No big deal, because no phone. Her purse was being left out.

She told me about the phone last Saturday night, though. Remember?

She is checking her account online. I go in ask if she was planning a girls night out. She says no, just out to eat and her sister wanted to join.

We leave and I ride shotgun today. I'll let her keep driving. She asks if I have seen her phone charger. I tell her no. She can't find it. It must be for the other phone she has. She looks at me like I am lying. I tell her that maybe I should not go, because she seems upset with me. She says no. Quiet ride. Not much talking. Not until almost at restraunt. I ask if anything exciting happened today.

No. She jokes how boring our jobs are. I remind her that she must have forgotten that. At her previous job, which she loved, she would complain to me how boring my job was. That was the job that enabled her and was the end of us. She tells me, "I guess. I hate talking about my job."

Quiet inside eating. SIL shows up late and practically ignores me. Roomie has to remind her to tell me hello. She does. This is the SIL that had kept her phone and checkbook for her. Has also talked to OM. Roomie told me her sister wasn't involved in the R with OM. She was trying to stay out of it, she tells me.


I don't really believe her, though. SIL treats me different these days. Maybe guilty of what she knows about her sister.

While eating, I see both roomie and I looking at the happy couples. We both have looks on our faces.

We walk to Borders Books after. Stay for a while and then head to grocery store for some things. We are smelling stuff again.

On way home, very quiet again. Both of us. Get home. Kids to bed. Us to bed. Purse treated like it carries the secret of the universe.

I can't stand it. In bed, lights out. Her facing away from me, clinging to the edge.

"Can I ask you a really dumb question?"
"Hmm?"
"Did something happen today?"
"What do you mean?"
"You are acting very different than you have been this week. Very distant."
"I'm ok."
Long pause. I keep digging.
"Its just that we have been having good honest talks recently, and I want that to continue."
"What?"
Pause again.
She turns over to look at me. I don't look back.
"Roger, what do you want to know? Don't beat around the bush?"
"I'm not beating around the bush. Your just acting different. You went to your mothers today. Did everything go ok?"
"Yes."
Pause again.
"I just want us to keep being honest."
Long pause.
"You told me the reason for you to drive today was that you were worried about the kids being alone for too long, and I got home before you."
"I called them twice after I got off of work."
I think to myself, that wasn't my point.
"I just want us to keep being honest."
Pause again.
"And I don't care what you have in your purse."
"What?"
"The way you are keeping it."
"Just habit now."
"Just today. You haven't been doing that all week."
Quiet. No reply.

She then falls asleep.

She is funny that way.

She stuck to her side all night. I get up and get ready. I notice that she did not take any of her meds yesterday.

Little extra time, I go and lay on the bed for about 10 minutes. She is beautiful when she sleeps. She has the most gorgeous lips. They get even fuller when she is sleeping.

I get up, stir her a little and whisper for her to have a good day.

"Mmnn. You too", she says half asleep.

Maybe just one of those days. I hope so.

I have mixed feelings about us. I just have to maintain myself until she moves out. If she is not ending things with OM, then I don't want her there anymore.

I may have to bring it up tonight. Maybe ask, "Do you really have any intention of ending it with him?" Take the conversation from there. If she doesn't, then she is leaving anyway. In a couple of more months.

Do I push it. If I have to, I can take two more months of her crap. I have taken it so far.

I have said before, at least my kids are home full time. Have to enjoy it while I can.

I will put them before me any day.