Separated 5 years.

[MP53]

Thanks for stopping by imLIN, it's nice to hear from someone who has reconciled.

I think my H really does believe the kids do not need him around so much. Especially when he first left, he told me he thought he'd be a better father away from them than living with them. That was kind of a head scratcher for sure

I am lucky in that he still wants to do things for/with them. Tonight he and our son are going to see Pearl Jam together, and he and our daughter have a really good relationship. He takes care of a lot of her college stuff, and he has been really generous to me in setting up trips to visit her at college, etc. or helping her figure out her travel arrangements.

We're friendly, but we don't spend time together, except for birthdays and some holiday celebrations. It's better than hating each other, I think.

I just wish I could get him to see me in a romantic light. When he left, he told me that he had been looking for "her" and it was unfair to me and to him to continue to look for "her" from inside the marriage. I've consulted lawyers about my "rights" in this situation, and was told that countless people wait many years to get divorced, that I was not unusual in waiting.

My hope would be that we would eventually see each other in that light we used to view eath other in. But if that doesn't happen, I would still like us to be kindly and friendly to each other.