Well if he is like my H then he looks at his kid's ages and says, "They are adults! That means they don't need their parents anymore!"...My H actually said that my girls didn't need him and that my son had a good foundation that HE started him on so he would be okay!...Our son was 9 when he left!...Yours probably says his kids are grown and out of the house so they are not an issue to worry about... Rather than thinking your H is gay I was thinking that he might be a sex addict?!?!...
As wacked out as my H became he finally came to his senses...it took him 3 going into his MLC before he moved out...then 2 years totally gone from us...and then another 1+ to recover...now, it has been 7 years since it all began and he is doing much better...the turn around came quick as did return...it was the part in the middle that lasted the longest...he too put adds on dating sites...said he was 10 years younger then he really was, guess he was counting on that wrinkle cream to really work!, said he was taller then he was, thinner then he was...so in reality he couldn't be honest with anyone, it wasn't just me...and most of all he wasn't honest with himself...
AS for your H...5 years S is a long time...and sadly some of the MLC'ers don't come out of it...they get sucked in to it like some sort of vortex caught them and they just keep going around and around...Sounds like your H is stuck...
Rusty, I hear you on the EA thing...I did the same...no way I could have actually had a PA...but one thing I know...with the wrong person an EA can be just as damaging...and usually is the first step to a PA...And I also said I didn't want to deal with an ex if I ever found myself in a position to remarry...but then I always liked kids and did want more so I could have done the step-mom thing...but with a widower so there was no ex involved and I could build a close relationship with the kids without disrupting an ex's relationship...
