Today I took d7 to gymnastics, then came home, we had a snack. Her bestie (best friend) called to ask if d could come over to play. I said yes but said it wouldn't be for long because she was going with her dad soon. I took the opportunity to go grocery shopping and had a quick look at external hard drives (I need one for my music and photos). Got home, half unpacked the shopping when h called to say he was on his way. I went and got dd and met h back at home. He picked her up at about 2.30pm having come straight from training. He asked if it was okay to have a shower, I said 'yup'.
He didn't talk to me much other than when I asked if he was leaving straight away after his shower he said "Why? What is there that I should stay for?" (or something similar). I said I just wanted to know because while we were waiting for him to get out of the shower I asked d7 to do a little job for me (for payment) that she was only half way through. I gave him some freebies that I had gotten from a work function (golf balls etc), then they left.
I have spent most of the time today when I wasn't doing housework on the DB website looking for people that are in similar situations.
Is it sad that I listened to whitney Houston's and Tom Jones whilst doing the mopping? I have a bit of a CD addiction at the moment and have been buying CDs a lot. h took most of the CDs after a particularly emotional drama last November adn still hasn't brought them back even though he keeps saying he will after he has finished copying them. I think he doesn't want to bring them back because he thinks I won't let him take them again. It hurts to not have my music.
anyway...I just called d7 to say goodnight on h's mobile and she answered (I usually don't call when she is with him because I don't want to distract her time from him but I'm trying this as a 180). I asked to speak to h and confirmed pick up time at 1pm tomorrow and asked if he was okay. I then asked if he wanted me to ring him later and he said "If you want, it's up to you". Yay...so enthusiastic....I'm nervous too buddy! I don't want to fight, but I don't know what to talk about. He's not much of a talker, more a lover, but at this point in our (non) relationship that's not working for me (the loving/sex part that is).
Should I post a timeline of my sitch? It'll be pretty long and gory and I don't really want to have ppl focus too much on the past but I'm still so angry and hurt about it that I need to deal with it but don't know how. I have changed the sheets on d's bed and my sheets are in the drier...love clean sheets, mmmmm. I swept and mopped the floor (I haven't done it in weeks!!)
** Purple
As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live. Goethe
