Officially Here Now

[Abbey]

To which I got really pissed because one of the things I have realized and TOLD him through all of this is that I now realize I was in a severe depression the last 2 years, which I believe affected a lot of what has happened with us. I didn't realize it until I got on Anti Depressants a couple months ago, and now realize how I felt the last 2 years was NOT normal sadness. I'm sad now, but it's different. I don't know how to explain it.

For many of us,... we know exactly what you mean. Best thing I can say is learn to "enjoy" your up times, the moments where you are starting to feel like yourself again. There are still down times as we both know, but don't expect this to "fix" over night. Your emotions, your brain needing to remap, etc.... is going to take quite a while ... a year even. Don't expect someone who's a "depression snob" or a mental health snob to get it over night. My H is the same way as yours. My melt down happened 4 years ago after my mother died and the crap that then happened because of it. He thinks I've "changed"... nowhere in your H's or my H's brain right now is there room for empathy. Don't expect it. It will over time, come however. Work on "evening out". And also don't be too hard on yourself when you slip. We've have ALLLLLLLL done this. Even the best of the DB'ers have slid down the slope at times.

*hugs*
Abbey