Where is the real me? What do I want?

[Purple]

Pros for saving my marriage
-someone to grow old with
-someone to share the bills with
-a chance to really change the way I operate
-he is gorgeous (in my eyes)
-we are opposites and therefore have the potential to complement each others skills
-our daughter
-life is hard to do on your own
-a chance to get to know him again properly
-a chance to change myself and work with my gut instead of being co-dependant and putting myself last

Cons
-really hard work if I stay
-have a lot of issues to work through (lies, infidelity, disdain, trust, some physical violence)
-maybe I would be better off with a clean break, workign on me and seeing where life takes me
-I would have to take a major leap of faith to trust him again after he has lied to my face repeatedly in the past. There is no way to verify what he says any more without turning into a paranoid beyatch
-he won't change jobs (his job is where these other relationships have started - even though all but one of these women are not there any more)

um....I'm not sure what else. I'm just trying to get the journalling flowing instead of keeping it all in my head where it swirls and eddies and disappears as soon as a realisation pops up.

btw Saffie...I used to be someone else on here but scarpered after I got flamed a little bit (i'm a sook). You used to post to me before. I don't really want to make the link between log ins, though if I say 'Morgan' that is a clue to a mutual poster.