Thursday night you'll remember we had a meeting at D2's daycare because she will be moving up to the toddler group. All the kids in her class will move up, they will be in the same building but have a couple of new teachers. They have 2 of their teachers who will move with them also. Anyway, I went to the daycare but did not attend the meeting. I decided to go into the room where all the 2 year olds where and hang out with D and play with them(10 kids).
Well, W sent me an email today, pissed about my decision. I'm posting the email here for comments and about my reply back to her. Feel free to respond. Personally I don't think I did anything wrong skipping the meeting..I feel I put my D first.
Here is the email and response.
Mike, The annual transition meeting at daycare last night for parents was to tell us about our child's transition to a new class in August, what we need to know about things that change and how to help her transition well. I was confused as to why you came if you only stayed in the playroom with her the whole time and did not attend the meeting or take the tours of her new rooms. You clearly had the paper - knew it was a parent-teacher meeting and that childcare was provided for the toddlers. I know you said you preferred to be with her - but ....you see, you totally missed the whole point of the meeting.
Two teachers today quizzed me this morning about your behavior last night - asking why you came but did not attend? (Rest assured, I merely told them you "wanted to spend time with D"). But know they saw it as odd. ...and you know it is upsetting to me. You seem to be trying to hurt me? Or to show the world that now you do want to spend time with her? ..... but last night was not about that. Last night was about how we can help her in her move. You... once again....think about MIKE first. I just wish you could train your Brain to think of her first. SHE needed you to learn in there with us parents more than to play 45 minutes with her last night. SHE has a NEW main Teacher after 2 years with Nelda...and you have no clue now....You need to know things and be prepared, and know what to do when you pick her up...where to go, etc. And to understand her daily environment. You do not now. Why did you even come I had to ask? If not to 'show off' to others you spend time with her? It is just weird to me. Had you had a conflict last evening, I'd gladly bring you up to speed on the changes , but now I am just upset to have to do that - You should have put her needs first last night too and been there (you did not have to sit next to me!). And the teachers found it weird and quizzed me...how would that make you feel??? Why must you make it harder on her and on me? I needed to vent this- I am not trying to start a fight. I just wish you could start thinking of her first. It is the only was she can get through this without scars. I swear to you I am committed to that. K
I responded,
I understand why you feel that way. I am sure that all will be the way it is supposed to be.
I felt it was more important to spend time with D. D had fun, I had fun and the kids that were in there and interacting with me had fun.
I have no doubt that the folks there are “the best” in the area at what they do.
I also have no doubt that they will answer any questions I may have. They have before and I’m sure they will in the future.
Last night, me going into the playroom with D none of that was about you, or me. That was about D. That was me putting D above everything and everyone else. That was me thinking about the most important thing in my life, my daughter. That was D seeing us with her little friends having fun.
Finding the classroom, meeting the teacher, seeing her environment, I can do that anytime.
I would be glad to speak with the teachers when I pick her up shortly. As a matter of fact I spoke with Nelda before the meeting telling her why I was choosing to stay in the room with the kids.
And I’m sorry that you felt uncomfortable about the teachers questioning you. It was not my intention.
So there it is..
Also on the way to pick up D from daycare today W called me..She was driving about 6 cars behind me..I let it go to VM..she called back about 10 minutes later and I picked up. She wanted to know if I was headed to pick up D and I said yes.
Picked up D, and went and worked on the house some more..Up early in the AM to head back over and work some more.
