H had 3 year affair and I never knew!

[bluerain]

Happycamper,
Im sorry about your car! Mine is on the fritz too. They have fantastic timing.

I agree with you about the unfairness of the fact that they can go out and laugh with their buddies while you stay home with your children. And I feel the same way about remembering the happier times, Ill see a date and think, oh, that was before H lost his mind. It seems like yesterday. If only I could have done A, B, or C I would still have him here with me.

But I know that now that he has chosen to walk his road alone you need to worry about you. You cant control his actions, but you can control how you react. Dont let his mistakes determine your behavior. Do what you KNOW is the right thing to do, then you will never have to apologize to anyone, if they have an issue with something youve done, thats their problem. And you will know that you always behaved in a manner you can be proud of. And your children will see it, just think about what you are teaching them about the value of a marriage and family. People who make their choices like this are centered and I think that that is very attractive to others.

You can find someone else, we all can, and when you do it will feel so good to finally have someone to hold your hand, hold you while you sleep, laugh at your jokes, someone for you to stay up all night with talking. And this experience will have taught you some very valuable lessons, just think, you will be a better wife than you could have ever been before. If he chooses to not come back, then what about those other women? They can have the lying, broken man your H will have chosen to become.

Im praying for all of us, I hope that your sitch gets better.
Take care.

Kris.