H had 3 year affair and I never knew!

[happycamper]

Jeff

I must admit I find it hard to think I will find someone at the moment. I live in a rural area in the UK where there are a distinct lack of christian single men, let alone one who wants a woman with 4 children in her late 30s. I know it is way to early for me to be thinking about finding someone else, but it does play on my mind.

The sad thing for me is why my H couldn't have told me years ago when he first 'left' me, maybe when I had one child, rather than leaving it til now when I have four. I just can't imagine finding someone to take us all on who I am really attracted to and isn't going to tell me a string of lies again like stbx...

You see, I might be able to entertain forgiveness, but as for hope for my future - ha! forget it. I feel devastated that 3 months ago I had (or I thought I had) someone to kiss me and hold me and... all the rest. And now - it's gone.

What seems so unfair, and I'm being really honest now, is that he can go out tonight (as he is out) and have sex with anyone he wants, and enjoy all that comes with that. Me? I will have to wait years to find someone. My sex-life has just been snatched away. Goodness, is this how single christian people feel? I am so sorry for not being more understanding.

Ah, it's late here in the UK and I am tired! Being far too open...