I hope time will heal my wounds. Soon W will not be over at my house everyday and I'll only see her once maybe twice a week. I am still relatively new at this, 6 - 8 months and I am still relatively angry with W. I know I have to forgive her, but what she did is unthinkable, it's crazy I have to forgive her for something she did to me and the kids. I don't know how everyone here is able to do this (forgive). I mad as hell and want nothing to do with her (who wants to be around a liar and a cheat) the site of her makes me sick.
I think that's good that she won't be over every day soon; good for you and your PMA definitely. I think forgiveness comes in time, and I'm still working on that and anger; I think we all have periods of that. Maybe the anger is our brain's way of detaching or something and self-protection because we've realized our WAS aren't healthy for us (now at least)?
I do think in your case your W is unstable and unhealthy, and maybe she can't be in a healthy R with anyone I don't think. Maybe you can forgive her for that in time; I hope she will at some point get more stable and healthier if nothing else for your kids' sakes. Karen
Karen: I think forgiveness comes in time, and I'm still working on that and anger; I think we all have periods of that. Maybe the anger is our brain's way of detaching or something and self-protection because we've realized our WAS aren't healthy for us (now at least)?
WOW karen, our bodies do so many amazing things to combat almost everything (heat, cold, illness, fatigue and anything else attempting to hurt the body) Why wouldn't the brain do the same thing ??? you may be on to something here
Come on guys/gals, can't I be bitter, mean and unforgiving to my W to the end of time, while being happy and friendly to everyone else I meet
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
I hope time will heal my wounds. Soon W will not be over at my house everyday and I'll only see her once maybe twice a week. I am still relatively new at this, 6 - 8 months and I am still relatively angry with W. I know I have to forgive her, but what she did is unthinkable, it's crazy I have to forgive her for something she did to me and the kids. I don't know how everyone here is able to do this (forgive).
Jeff,
Because our Lord commands us to -- no less. Simple.
Not EASY -- at all -- but simple.
Don't let unforgiveness consume you. I found that it helps to think of them as an addict, because they certainly are.
puppy: Because our Lord commands us to -- no less. Simple. Don't let unforgiveness consume you. I found that it helps to think of them as an addict, because they certainly are.
I know Puppy, I know I have to forgive her, not for her but for myself, Its one of the reasons I still have my wedding ring on. I haven't forgiven my W for what she has done, I cannot move on(I'll have to use that line in my next poem). But its true, I cannot move on with my life until I clean up the mess that was my old life.
I know, what is right, I know what I must do, I appreciated you checking in on me, I'll do it eventually but its going to be like a kid being dragged kicking and screaming to the bathroom to take his medicine.
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
I hate the lies - W told me she had to work tonight, when she works at the bar, she wear sensible cloths, tennis shoes, etc.
So I rushed home from work so she could get to work on time, when I walked in the door, she had a dress on, high heel shoes, hair done, etc. NO WAY WAS SHE GOING TO WORK
I walked to another room, I didn't even acknowledge her. I heard her say goodbye to all the kids and out the door she went. I hate when she lies to me, does she think I'm stupid
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
My wife did that to me last year, on the 4th of July. After taking our boys to see the fireworks, she came home and started getting all dolled up to go to a party, where I KNEW she was going to meet OM.
I confronted her in her bathroom where she was putting on her makeup (I found out later, she even had changed her PANTIES), looked her dead in the eyes and said:
"I hope you're not going to meet Mike. That would be incredibly disrespectful to our family, especially when the boys were looking forward to shooting off fireworks with you."
She went crazy denying it, and SWORE to me she was just meeting some friends from work.
I had a voice-activated recorded in her car.
SHE LIED.
At least I confronted her. And I did it EVERY TIME she went out if I knew from intel where she was going.
I really couldn't confront her with the kids there and I even if the kids were not there I don't think I would say anything.
She is physically and mentally detached from me already and I don't think confronting her would accomplish anything.
My job is to be the better person, and take care of the kids. I just have to get through the summer and I won't ever have to see her leave again. She will think everything is going just as she wants it. If she wants to take the kids I'll say ok, if she wants the weekend off away from the kids that will be ok too. She needs help with something, I'll do my best to help. Then when she thinks everything is going her way WHAMO, I serve her with D papers. I'm going to have to D her and move on with my life.
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Then when she thinks everything is going her way WHAMO, I serve her with D papers.
They are so damn stupid. They just don't realize that we would rather have the truth. I have told roomie this before. "I just want you to be honest with me." Practically begged her.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
