Guilty as charged.. I am a WAW.

[Bridgestone]

Hi,
After calling my C and talking this through with her. She agreed that I should call my H. on his behaviour, but be positive about the changes he has made .

I just got off the phone with him.

I started off asking if he was some place to talk for a few minutes as I some things I wanted to talk through. He said was in a good mentally, but not physically ( he was in his mom's kitchen). I asked him to please call me back when he could be in a good place for both.

He called me back about 5 minutes later.

I told him I was happy that he was trying to find time to go on outings with me, doing things we both liked to do (biking, drinking wine, etc) but expecting me to drop my plans for the day, just because his have changed, especially since nothing ad been agreed upon in advanced, was inconsiderate.

I told him I had no expectations of doing anything today with him as nothing had been confirmed and I had left it with him that he was to give me a few days notice.

He agreed that was his understanding too, but thought he would check and see if I was busy, as his plans had changed (although ironically, b/c the weather forecasted early this morning, for this afternoon, never happened, he ended up doing what he had originally planned anyway- so if I would have agreed he would have probably cancelled anyway!!)

I told him I would like him to consider that others live by schedules,not just the weather and that most people (not just me) plan things a few days ahead. That is not an unrealistic or 'weird' behavior. I am all for spontaneity, but what he has and asked me to exhibit the past 48 hours was not that.

he listened and parroted back what I said. He agreed that he can understand why I would be frustrated with his actions and apologized that it came across that way.

I told him I had time tonight, tomorrow night, & Sunday afternoon, to do something together. But that I was planning a bike outing with the D. for Sunday morning after church, a BBQ with friends on Sunday evening, and I needed time sometime saturday morning/afternoon to finish my work.

I heard him pause, and then I could literally hear him through the phone straighten himself up and ask if I would go with him to a wine tasting event tonight (wow.. how did he know about that?) and a bike outing tomorrow afternoon.

I enthusiastically said, they both sound like a lot of fun! What time?

We worked out the details of each and now I need to go get ready for the first one.

Baby steps
and
confidence in asking for what one wants

mmmm... maybe DB'ing works for both the WAS & the LBS

or maybe it's just good communication & willingness to accept what the other person is in the moment, not your assumptions & pre-conceived ideas of what they should be or have been to you.

toodles!