So, I was going through some papers and came across a dog-eared piece of paper with the following post on it. I wish I could credit the author, but I only know I printed it out in Feb.'07 and it was a lifeline for me when I was at the point I see a lot of "piecers" at. Maybe it'll resonate with someone.
------------------------------------------------------- Give yourself a gift. Give your WS a gift. Focus on the fact that this was and is about WS, not OW.
I know it must have been hell to have her introduced into your live. But she was just a dog on a leash with no one to lead her around. She was available when your H began his unavoidable journey. Many people facing their journey do not want to walk alone. But they do know that you can not accompany them. They are of another world at that time, and they know you do not belong.
That difference between the two of you at that time is a defining and dividing force of nature. Still, most men do not like being alone. They quickly accept the company of a dog. They easily pick up the leash and feel secure that they will not be alone in their journey.
Sometimes they know that they are just temporarily walking someone else's dog, and that they will drop the leash somewhere down the road. Sometimes they fool themselves into thinking they will keep the dog as it is nice to not be alone in their otherworld. Thinking of it all this way is not so hard when you try. It is a very appropriate analogy. And it is very sad to see someone's alien lowering themself to accepting a life with someone else's dog.
Your H walked a dog. Let it go. The dog can not make your H go for a walk if he does not want to. The dog will never make anyone go for a walk that does not want to. If your are seeing my thinking, I am going to wrap this up in a bow now. A man does not go walk a dog just to walk the dog. While the man is walking the dog, he is thinking. He is wondering if this is all there is to life. He is wondering if the dog will even miss him when he is gone. He is wondering if anyone will be at home when he is finished walking the dog. He wonders what projects he should start when he gets home after his walk. His walk was not about you or the dog; only him.
Your H is coming home. He has been doing a lot of internal thinking on his walk. It matters not what the name of the dog was, nor where he found the leash, or where he dropped it. The dogs are not of our world. If you believe in some kind of karma, you must feel sorry for the wandering life of a dog. Your H found himself and his answers. He knew his walk was over and he had his answers. He no longer had a need or interest in the dog. He was ready to stop his walk, and start his living.
That does not just mean return to live in his house. It means the whole package. It means return to everything in life that matters. Dogs from the otherworld do not matter in this world. Do not spend any more time in this world thinking about the dogs of the otherworld. It is a waste of your time. It is painful for your H to see in you, and he will. He will forever regret that he took his walk, but he will always know that powers beyond his understanding or control made him do it.
He had his walk and asked life his questions. He found his answers. They will not change. Don't ask him things he already asked himself, and answered. That would be questioning his decisions. He made the right one. Allow him, or help him past his walk by embracing his decisions and living with him in this world, always and only in this world.
