sg, I clearly stated in my post to FIB that I was NOT trying to encourage him to walk away. I shared w/ him MY experience and was trying to tell him to be sure of what HE wanted. I did NOT stop working on my marriage for someone here. While Bill and I did "meet" here on the board, we did not have any contact during the time my XH and I were attempting to reconcile. When my XH asked me out and approached me w/ the possibility of a reconciliation, Bill stepped back and gave me that opportunity. He just stated to me that I knew what I wanted/needed and to be sure of that and not to settle for less, rather it was w/ my XH or someone else. My marriage failed because the whole time my XH was attempting a reconciliation, he was shacking up w/ another woman and was lying about it. After ONE night at home and lots of empty promises, he went back to the other woman and I chose not to play his games. I decided that I deserved better than that...my children deserved better than that. It was MY personal choice to not fight for him or the marriage anymore.
Yes, you are right...honoring your vows and your commitment to family are GOOD things. I fully believe that our marriage vows are meant to last until death do us part. Unfortunately, sometimes that is not possible, whether it is by our doing or our spouse's.
My concern for FIB is that his wife has a history of pushing him away, pulling him back in, and pushing him away, again. That is why I told him to be sure of what he wants. If he decides that HE wants his marriage to work, then he needs to be firm in that decision and do whatever it takes within his power to make it happen. If he decides he can no longer take the roller coaster ride that his wife is on, then that is HIS decision, too. And, no matter which he decides, I will still be his friend and support him.
FIB, again, I apologize. I should have just not posted at all.
