Thank you Rusty. I appreciate the support. Most of the time, I am upbeat, it's just when I see my H after a couple of months, that it all rushes at me that he is no longer with me.
At the dinner, I don't think he saw even a hint of that longing, as I kept the focus on our son. I did talk a little about the morning our son was born, but he acted uncomfortable, so I stopped.
Our son had a wonderful birthday, and even my husband seemed reluctant to have the evening end, as usually he rushes off after something like this, and this time we all went for a stroll along the harbor and sat and watched the sailboats come into the harbor.
I am working on losing weight. I have a thyroid condition and it not only makes it a bit more difficult to lose weight, it adds puffiness to my eyes, which is always attractive...NOT! So I am working on me and I like me for the most part, just not the aging.
It's funny. When we were first together, people often wondered why I was with him (he was kind of geeky(?)) I was, of course, with him, because I loved the whole package, his mind, his personality, his sense of humor...looks too. I thought he was with me because of the same. But as I got older, I guess my personality "aged" too and he didn't find me attractive or something.
Oh well, positive thoughts. I AM worthy of being loved and I will try to remember that.
Gonna go check on your thread now, Rusty. Thanks for stopping by.
And thanks to you too, imLYN...you are very right. Beauty is only skin deep and inner beauty is best.
Last edited by MP53; 06/27/0811:27 AM.
Married: 25 years Separated: 5 years Kids: 2, ages 21 and 24 Me: 53 H: 50
No, they have not met any of his dates, or really, of his friends either. Occasionally, when he takes them to Red Sox games, he will be with people from the office, because that's where the tickets come from, but that's it.
He's very good at compartmentalizing his life. There's me and the kids and then his mom and brothers, and then work, and then his social life.
Rarely does any of it cross over into a different compartment.
Married: 25 years Separated: 5 years Kids: 2, ages 21 and 24 Me: 53 H: 50
My H does the same thing - compartmentalizing his life. Weird. Since your kids are older, as are some of mine, what do they say if anything about the S and possible D? Mine never talk about it. My D, who is only 12, does occassionally, but that is it. My son, who just got married, tells his wife stuff and she tells me, but otherwise, I don't know what they think about it all. Do your kids spend more time with you or your H? I think after you hit mid 40's it is near impossible to lose weight! I have done the weightwatchers on line and worked out and I did manage to lose about 25lbs, but still want to lose more and it's just not coming off. But physically you feel so much better when you work out - even just walking. The better you feel inside the more you project that confidence on the outside. I heard on an interview once that Prince Charles wanted Camilla over Princess Di because Camilla had an inner beauty that oozed sexuality. I'm working on getting that!!!
Me-48 H-48 Married 25years Sep 12/05 S-24, S-22, S-18, D-12 Dated for 9 months of S, not dating now http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1565826
Me, too, Rusty, working on the inner sexuality...lol...
My kids do not talk about the sitch much at all. My son has said that he's frustrated because no one ever talks about it, it's like nothing happened, because we're all so polite to each other.
My daughter was mostly concerned about seeing her dad as often as she wanted to, when he left. But that was it. She was only 16 when he left, and more concerned about herself (as teenagers often are) and her life.
Lately, she's indicated more sympathy for what I must have been going through, but we don't really talk about it at all.
For some time though, my husband would talk to me about the way the kids responded to him and the kids would talk to me about something their dad did or said that bothered them, and I refused to be in the middle and told them all that they needed to talk to EACH OTHER, because I couldn't fix it for them.
A big goal of mine was to not interfere with their relationship with their father. I want them to be totally okay with having both of us at functions and things.
I think the kids spend the most time with me. I still live in the house they grew up in, and my daughter comes home from college to be with me. My son has his own place but he can go longer than I do without seeing his father.
I guess, after 5 years, they've gotten used to the situation.
Married: 25 years Separated: 5 years Kids: 2, ages 21 and 24 Me: 53 H: 50
Others have said it before you...but I have a hard time believing it to be true. He seemed to be able to "perform" just fine with me. Although he did like oral the best. Hmmmmm.
Married: 25 years Separated: 5 years Kids: 2, ages 21 and 24 Me: 53 H: 50
Just too many secrets. He'd have to go way out of his way to keep his kids from even accidentally tripping over another female. And what about his friends? If they are outwardly gay he couldn't have anyone see them either.
The fact that there was nothing really wrong with your marriage, he's not angry at you. There's no sexual tension going on.
Is he into Barbra Streisand, Liza Minelli, Ethel Merman, Bette Midler and/or Musicals?
