Unfaithful spouse's grief

[bluerain]

My counselor told me that when (if) my H's PA ends and he stops contacting her I should expect a grieving period from him. How am I supposed to behave while he's going through this? And I'm not sure how long he will grieve.

I wonder if I act too sympathetic Ill seem manipulative, mostly because I'm not sure if I can HONESTLY be sympathetic! If I'm not honest about it then I think it is manipulative.

I don't want to see my H hurting, that will hurt me, but I'm not very confident that I can be sympathetic to WHY hes hurting. Or even if he will want sympathy from me, couldnt that make him resentful?

[water2moon]

This is so true..my H "broke" it off with the OW approx 4 or 5 times..Each time he swore he was done but he was so miserable and I could tell he was putting on an act when he was trying too hard to seem happy, it was fake. It's still hard for me cause I often wonder if he still thinks about her and if he compares me to her..I pray for the day when this is a distant memory but I'm not sure when that will be, can take a while. I'm sure you'll get mixed opinions on this but I for one don't feel I need to console him in any way, not after the pain he put me through.

[bluerain]

Water,
My H broke it off once, he swore he really tried (for a whole 3 days), but I didnt believe at all him until I heard about this, Im not entirely sure if I believe him even now. Im not sure if I need to console him, or even if I could. Moslty because, like you said, of the pain he put me through.

I think that it will be a memory one day. I pray for that day also. But it is something that he cant take back, it will have changed us both forever. Hopefully I can make the most of the lessons I can learn from it and the changes will make me a better person. Not that the changes arent part of a brutally painful process.