Not sure I am in the best position to offer suggestions for you, but what I have been doing is WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR ME. A lot of times, this goes outside true db techniques, but...
Lost,
The problem with that is, in order to be effective at this you will often find yourself having to do the most counterintuitive things you've ever had to do. Reach WAY outside of your comfort zone.
So I think there's a BIG difference between:
"I don't know, this just doesn't 'feel' like the way I would normally handle something like this; this isn't for me", and
"I know this will be hard, and very unlike me (might even represent a total "180"), but intuitively, I know it's the right thing to do."
I'd encourage both of you (hell, I'd encourage EVERYONE) to go by "Do the right thing, at any given moment, no matter how hard or scary it is", rather than "do what FEELS right."
