Okay, I know this may not be an issue for everybody who has been D for some time.... but I seem to be struggling with the whole intimacy issue. I have been considering the thought of dating again. I have not yet because of this very thing. I've done friend things like meet for dinner, movies, get togethers but it has all been with those I feel safe with...ie, no attraction factor. The thing is I really miss having intimacy in my life... and I'm talking about just having someone hold my hand or give those soft strokes on the inside of your arm... that special persons shoulder to lay your head on and and sigh that expression of ahhh this is wonderful. Just those small expressions of intimacy seem so far out of reach. I get the feeling that people just want to jump right into okay we've gone through the first date now it's the second so let's go to bed. I'm so afraid of that and having to say NO. It's not that I don't want to.... but I want it to be right.... and rushing things of falling prey to sexual urges just isn't. That empty, what the hell have I done feeling is not something I care to go through. So... either I make sure to tell a guy upfront that this is how I feel and risk watching him bolt .... or I avoid the whole dating thing altogether.
Am I just being overly dramatic or has anyone else been struggling with this same kinda stuff?????
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
