In retrospect, I think you're right. I don't know that you've read "Love Must Be Tough" by Dobson, in it he absolutely stresses that that is the only way to get a marriage back on track and the sooner the better. Unfortunately by the time I read it I had been separated for over 6 months and pretty much had left the door open inspite of all of the crap husband handed to me and all of his bad actions. Dobson's thinking is that when you go along, cry and beg, the WAW loses whatever respect they have for us. Especially if they are reliving or trying to recapture what they think they missed out on. They look at us like we are an obstacle in their way and they resent us for it.
Makes sense to me especially now that I can see it for what it was.
Beth,
I used to look back and wonder if I had followed the "Tough Love" how it would have turned out.... The truth is once she said she wanted a D... That was the beginning of the end....
Once someone screws around, that ends it for me...... Even if that person comes back, I doubt I would be able to make it work... I would probably be always wondering if there was someone better out there for me than this person who left our M and cheated....
Take Care,
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
