I think you just answered your own question. You already know most of what to do, but I have to ask, what happened to communication? Weren't you going to always leave it open so there would never have to be any guessing?
Seems to me that you're coming to the wrong place for your answers re: intimacy.
Don't get me wrong. I'm glad to see you hanging around, it's just that our answers are a guess. Only your wife knows what she needs or what might be missing.
Sigh...Phoenix... Men are suppose to read women's minds and know what we want.
Oh wait sometimes that doesn't work when I am not sure what I want....
Revision: Men are suppose to know what women are suppose to want.
I am actually half serious about this statement. The X would often ask and I never really had an answer.
One thing he did do that really touched me was that I have a tough time getting up for work in the morning. He use to let me sleep in till the last minute and did all the early morning stuff. And he use to pack my yogurt breakfast in my laptop backpack and hand me my cup of coffee as I ran out the door for work. I wouldn't have known to ask for it - but I really appreciated it.
I think sometimes you have to observe and figure out what W would really appreciate. And it is different for different women.
What happened to communication? I guess since I raised this issue I could ask if there was something I could be doing better. That's easy. But if everything seems fine, it's not really even in a guy's (or woman's I suppose) mind to ask if everything is okay. Maybe that's my lesson for the day...ask anyway every once in awhile.
AG, I think those are great thoughts. My wife is better about getting up and doing the coffee (and bringing me a cup) while I am stuck bringing the dogs outside, a duty I hate in the morning. Maybe I should drag it out a bed for a bit and carry more of the load, just to switch things up. I actually have been a slacker for the last couple weeks. Probably time for me to spontaneously do some housework.
Thanks for your thoughts. Back to work for me.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
I am stuck bringing the dogs outside, a duty I hate in the morning.
I always pity the folks walking around holding plastic bags of their dogs poop. I imagine that's not quite like waking up to the aroma of Folgers, hey?
Routines and habits are hard to change, aren't they? Yet, I've noticed that shaking things up now and then for myself seems to add something within my R with Celeste. Greater discipline and sense of adventure, but also keeps a sense of freshness and appreciation for some flexibility.
I haven't seen my kids in several weeks and it's getting long...especially since they are of the age where calling their dad isn't that important I guess. I'm bummed. It's just D and I right now...so we are finding out what it will be like when all the birds have left the nest.
As for holding dog poop...I try to pretend I don't see my dog pooping on the neighbors lawn...much like their dogs do to me.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
Things are good. That'd be hard on me, too. I'm starting to see the "Dad's not so cool anymore" - greater focus on friends - stuff from S8, but that's part of life. Several weeks would wear on me, too. Are they traveling or at camp?
How's the empty nest sampling been for the 2 of you? I've heard of some couples really enjoying it: no cheese pizza, debates about what to watch on TV, clothes become optional, the sugar cereal doesn't get wolfed down right away...
Ha! You don't see the poop - Right! That reminds of a funny sitch. One summer at approx 10 yrs/age, I walked this huge old hunting dog for the parish priests, and it must have out-weighted me by 50 lbs or so. Needless to say, we went were he pulled me on the leash, and he kept choosing the yard of this one parishioner - a powerful attorney - to poop on - every time, like clockwork. By summer's end, it looked like a herd of buffalo had chosen to unload en masse on their grass, which had a sickly spotted yellow pattern.
How about a Yard-a-pult to deal with the neighbor dogs' poop?
How about a Yard-a-pult to deal with the neighbor dogs' poop?
Sounds like a great plan. I'll have to get working on that.
The empty nest thing is a welcome break for us. We get some things done and pretty much just veg...go out to eat, grab a drink, whatever. It's nice for a short while. Yeah, my kids went to a wedding, then swim camp, and now are headed to watch the first couple days of the olympic swimming trials. We're going back Vegas this weekend for a quick getaway.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
Geez... I never look here anymore and now see what I've missed!!! sheees.
I, for one, hate the empty nest thing with the caveats that I think we need some alone time now and then and it's nice getting things done knowing that there's not a cyclone behind you tearing it up. How's that for OCD, honey?!
We are going to be taking care of a friend's dog soon. She's a monster but she thinks she's toy sized. She's got a mean pull and her doggie leavings leave something to be desired so the pick up is ishyyyyy. I'd like to dog-a-pult them into the next yard but I'll leave that to PD. That or the mailbox... (scheming)
One thing I'd like to point out is I have noticed that in general we tend to want back what we give. So say for instance our SO does something for us, it is actually something they like and perhaps want in return. I say perhaps because it isn't always the case. The things is for me, I didn't recognize this until later. Too late for my marriage but not too late for a new relationship. A very hard learning curve.
Now, I also try to speak my mind and say what I want instead of putting it on him to try and figure it out. In my marriage, I was one of those that figured he should just know. He was with me for 22 years, why didn't he know? He didn't because he was not a mind reader. So now, with my new relationship I work on that.
