I posted on my other thread that now my wife is accusing me of not letting her take care of the kids. She's obviously noticing my stopping of the same as usual behaviour and I would have to agree, that for the most part, since the bomb, I have been trying to do as much as I can. Thing is, can I be overdoing it? Communication about this issue is critical and it was one of the things that I needed to 180 in my life as her POV is that I have never helped.
Looking back, a lot of times even when I tried to help, she refused which, over time, led me to stop offering and only helping when asked. Should I just continue as is, and let her help when she wants? I want her to have her freedom and independence right now and not pressure her into doing things but I feel this is one tight rope for me to be walking. The other day, I ran out on an errand during bath time, letting her bathe the kids and before I left, I found her crying in the bathroom???
I am wondering now, is it not really the act of helping or doing it all but rather one of making her feel valued for what she does with the kids? She did all of this through the past two years with little recognition on my part, of which I am sad. I have thanked her over the past week when she does help with the kids.
She brought it up again this morning and I said that I enjoy what I am doing and she asked, since when, last week? To which I replied, no I have always....She then brought up the fact that she shouldn't be the one downstairs and I resonded, well, you are the one that wants this, not me...and I left the room. One minute, nice and friendly, apologetic for running late, next morning, kaboom!
Me 34 W 33 D 4 S 2 M 5 T 8 Bomb 6/17/08 Served 7/17/08 I hate Tuesdays! Current Thread
