I've been lurking here for a while...I was DB'ing for the last part of 06 & most of 07. My heart goes out to you and I feel deeply for what you are being put through. No, it's not fair to you at all. A little word to the wise on something...You have no idea where the path is going to lead you with your H. The shock and hitting rock bottom of losing you *just* may be the jolt for him to repair what he needs to within himself. Right now, you see no future because of his behavior. You are 100% justified in this as he has made his bed. Taking the high road shows you are the responsible one. People know. They can most likely take one look at you, then look at him..and the haggardness of all his sneaking around is clearly written on his face. You don't need to say a thing. And if people would 'judge' you for being divorced, they aren't much of a friend, are they? Take care of yourself, and be very careful w/your guy friend. Again, BTDT, and what makes it feel so good is this guy probably validates everything you are feeling ..he validates it in the most honest & raw way, he's been through it himself. BUT...that doesn't answer the questions of how you & H got to where you are...even though I see H at "most" of the fault, I know in my situation I had a fair share of blame to take too for not maintaining my marriage, not making it a priority and getting lost in life. Work on you. In previous posts, I saw how you were trying so hard to do things 'on your own'. Work on this...the more you engage yourself, the more you are going to surprise yourself at how wonderful you are, and how you are OK being alone for a while.
As I said, I've been reading and wanted to offer support. Your H is being childish and mean and I hope the comments he said to you (you're ugly, etc.) rolled right off your back. He is probably shocked you are taking a stand, you are in control and the only thing he can do is lash out at you like an immature child. His words mean nothing, being verbally abusive is all he can right now because he knows he's lost big time. If he doesn't sign the agreement, retain an attorney and file an immediate 'sole use of marital property' order and get his girly t-shirt wearing ass out of that house. It's time for him to face reality. I wish you the best and KNOW you will come out of this so strong. Good luck.
