Where is the real me? What do I want?

[saffie]

Whilst you are in the 'blame game' mode I don't think either of you will make much progress...........and it's not good for your D either.

Why not write a list of pro's and cons for keeping your M and see what that looks like.

Your H doesn't sound that great about things and doesn't seem to be putting much effort in, but maybe he is trying to test your commitment to the R. It sounds like you both have a way to go if you really want to save this M. Placing blame is not the answer unless it is iin the manner of constructive criticism that can be well received..........and that doesn't seem the case at the moment. All you can do is work on you and see how it goes.