Thank you Running and SueS for giving me some hope. This Sunday W, OM, and MY two kids went to the beach together... what can I say, I guess W is serious about rebuilding her family with this dude. Anyway I am relaxed and up for the fight. Monday I invited W and kids for dinner at my place, she was a bit undecided if she wanted to come or not, so I said "think how happy the kids would be" - this made the trick - and the kids were really super happy! I was cool, detached but not rude... and without the T-shirt... just to show off a bit. She was very much aloof, so I thought "you have to destroy her confidence". During the serving she said she wasn't very hungry and that she doesn't eat much lately.... I got my chance and I replayed "Really? It doesn't show..." - She said - "that is soooo mean!" But I didn't have a mean tone of voice, so I stayed cool... "Oh come on.... you aren't trying to lose wait! no?" That changed her mood and she wasn't aloof anymore. She said a couple of time "I cannot believe your comment!!" But she was OK and we joked a bit about it. We watched some videos I made of the the kids the last few weeks and then around 9:00 PM they left. At 11:00 PM she called me back thanking me for the dinner... hey that was more then I expected. Today I saw her again, we took the kids to swim, we chatted a bit, she asked me about my day but then she got busy and didn't let me talk. While we were leaving she said, aaah and what did you want to say? I said "it's OK forget it", I was annoyed by her total lack of interest... and I shouldn't have shown it... oh well I cannot be perfect. BTW - she is NOT wearing the ugly necklace, at least when she is with me, that is a pity because it could have been an endless source of jokes.
ooookeeey..... W calls me at midnight(!!) to ask me "what I wanted to say today at the pool...." I feel I am on the right track here. Still I need to hang on rule #1 that is my mood doesn't swing because of HER mood, but I can't stop smiling here.
By the way, you don't need to destroy her confidence. Why not try to be the source for it (in a detached way). You know OM is probably slathering on the ego-boosters. Out slather him!!! But not in a needy controlling way. In a Don Juan type of way.
Now, go to sleep! It's late!!!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Hey running, Ahhh Don Juan! I am renting the movie, AGAIN. It is my video class. I don't want to destroy her confidence EVERY time, but I think last evening she was way to confident, with me inviting her over, and the nice dinner, etc. I needed to put a "gentle" stop and show that I am in control, not needy but independent. My W eats men, I know that, this is what I liked about her, and this is what got me in this ugly situation. She knows she is very good looking, and smart, and she enjoy that attention way to much, I saw too many times men rolling carpets at her feet. She is trouble. Before we had the kids I knew how to handle her, but then..... I lost my "mojo" and I wasn't "THE MAN" anymore. The fact is that I am a father now and that changed a lot in my life. I am not concerned about the ego-booster from OM, it is only going to backfire, the dude is needy, I can smell it from here. She described him as "a very good person".... she need MORE than that, she needs "THE MAN" and she knows it. She said she is changed, she is now a mom, not the "wild" thing she use to be, and I believed it for a while, but then.... I shouldn't have. This morning I picked the kids and she was flirting with me, she came way too close and smelled me. For her it is just a game and I have to be a worthy player..... and I can be only if I am going to have fun with it, like I used to as when I was a juvenile, otherwise she is going to eat me.... munch munch munch and spit the bones.... like she did.. I am getting there.
Don't take HER seriously. That should be easy since she's attractive and full of herself. Think of her as "practice" for attracting and winning-over the future woman in your life. Practice your magnetism mojo skills on her (and it never hurts to practice on others too.... she have any single friends you run into? ).
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Hey H4H, I am happy to see you! No, I didn't have anything important to say, but she asked and then when I started to talk she began doing something else with the kids.... so I thought it was a bit rude, specially because when she finished with the kids she didn't ask me back.
Running, I want to be goooood at this, I am discovering the power of NLP, and I love it. You are right, W is a great ground for practice. I am going to be so much the alpha male that my back is going to turn silver. And yes I want somebody better then W in my life - and I mean somebody with more integrity.
Something I noticed is that with my kids starting to understand what is going on with W and OM they are showing more affection toward me then W, still they like OM, he gives them presents and plays with them. S6 feel bad to tell me he has good time with OM. I am so very sorry for what they are going through.
man - it's hard to be alpha male all the time... this evening I feel more like a GAMMA male - maybe even a delta male. I cannot be indifferent to things like the news that today W OM and D4 went for a picknick together. And OM gave a plastic ring to D4 that she was showing off! If there wasn't D4 with them I wouldn't have cared. I don't want my kids to get attached to this guy.
So - already today I am crazy angry - then W calls me all upset because me and S6 yesterday, for the half hour we have been together we played video games! instead of painting I don't know what that he had to do for soccer camp.... How would I know he had to do that! I am NOT a mind reader!! AM I? Anyway... she was *itching about being a "responsible" father and I saw blank like a bull in front of the red cape. I "yelled" her that if she has "advices" she is welcome otherwise she is the last person to tell me what I can or can't do with my kids, she did put the kids in a terrible situation and she doesn't care, she is the worst mother I know, I have not respect for her and she can keep her *itching for herself.
Anyway.... I know a big backslide, but at this point who cares, I am so upset because next month I am going to be so busy I am not going to be able to see my kids almost at all. They are going to go out with W and that..... whatever he is OM.... pretending they are a family. AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
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