Thanks for taking the time to do some reading and to post. It is just so amazing to me the way that certain things work out in God's plan. I so much desired to be a dad and it would seem that I am well on my way to having that dream realized. All by the grace of God. There seems to be a limitless supply of crystalline memories that I can draw from which have happened in just the last 12-18 months. Those memories are of all of the awesome times that I have had with DD15. I am convinced that it really does not matter what we are doing but it is just the simple pleasure of spending time together that I am thriled by. While I have always wanted to be a dad, I never would have anticipated that it would play out like it has.
I am faced with some of the same complex challenges of relating to my DD15 and what she has been through in life to try and get the love through to her. Those same challenges are at the heart of the matter in the rapid disintegration of my M with W. I think that the key difference is that DD15 is still a little maleable and shapeable. She can learn some things and is still developing. My W at age 40 is beyond that it would seem.
Wow T... you are such a gentle and loving Dad. Yes, you are blessed to have met your darling D15.
That is really nice of you to say that W2G.
Originally Posted By: W2G
In your signature you state possible adoption. When will you know if you can? And will it make a difference if you're a separated man? I surely hope not. I know you can give that young lady a wonderful family life and she and you both deserve that.
Big hugs, W2G
W2G - I was really bummed out because I had typed my response to this last night and then somehow my clumsy fingers managed to wipe the whole thing out and sign off all in one swoop.
In a nutshell, I really do not know what I am going to do in regards to any adoption proceedings. That was of course heavily contingent on W still being W. It is pretty clear she does not wish to be my W. For as long as I can recall W & I have been playing a three ring circus act with the Children & Youth people. Each and every (of the many X)that W would get bold and say for sure she was D'ing me I would tell her that she needs to let the CYS people know that so that they don't continue to assume that she will wind up with us. And each and every time she would tell me that she would go to pick up the phone to make the call to them and just couldn't follow through because she felt so horrible about it. SHe would request that I be the one to make that call. So with W now having executed several roounds of paperwork processing for this D with her L, the latest of which was the w/e after Memorial Day, I have no idea if she has finally gotten around to contacting CYS as she needs to. For all I know the CYS people are still 'out of the loop' about our pending D. My best bet, since I need to be moving from where I currently live, is to move a little closer to DD15 so that I could have the chance to see her more and be even more of an active dad to her - if that is what she would like. I currently live about :45 minutes from DD15 and only about :10 from my base for my work. I would like to ideally make it the other way around. That is my goal. Of course I still need to discuss all of this w/ DD15 to see what how she would like things to be.
I am really happy because I have a happy DD15 right now and I do not want to change an awful lot with her unless she is in favor of it. I hope everything is peaceful with you W2G. Glorify the Lord.
there is a purpose for me in W's life afterall. Sex or $ would seem to be the answer to that question. Just when I thought that I could not have anymore jaw dropping surprises from her, she calls, texts and all the other silly methods in an urgent effort to get a hold of me. There was much trepidation from my side as I prepared myself to call her back after receiving her message to please call her as it was important. The need this time is $ as her bank acct is in the red by a bunch. Western Union time. Let me check my cheeks and see if the red hot poker is still protruding. And I surely don't mean the facial kind. So she will have her $ in a few minutes and onward she will go into the great wide world ...until her next need arises. Maybe this next time it will be for pleasure rather than $. Well, pleasure for me anyway. What a day. Never know what the next surprise will be. God shows me how to love her a little more each day. I believe it is called agape love.
And now it is time to settle down and relax. Oh how I wish I never had to return to earth each night. Aerial refueling would be nice, I will have to look into it ..lol.
There is a very definite irony in all of this. Actually there are probably many ironies if I were to give it just a little thought.
I will share more on thaqt later.
Gotta go break free from terra firma.
Thanks for the continuing series of lessons on love, Lord.
there is a purpose for me in W's life afterall. Sex or $ would seem to be the answer to that question. Just when I thought that I could not have anymore jaw dropping surprises from her, she calls, texts and all the other silly methods in an urgent effort to get a hold of me. There was much trepidation from my side as I prepared myself to call her back after receiving her message to please call her as it was important. The need this time is $ as her bank acct is in the red by a bunch. Western Union time. Let me check my cheeks and see if the red hot poker is still protruding. And I surely don't mean the facial kind. So she will have her $ in a few minutes and onward she will go into the great wide world ...until her next need arises. Maybe this next time it will be for pleasure rather than $. Well, pleasure for me anyway. What a day. Never know what the next surprise will be.
Are you saying that from the book Purpose Driven Life why W needs you? I read the first couple of chapters lastnight before giving it to my W this morning. I hope W does read it and takes it to heart. Really sucks you dont know what you will be suprised with next cause it can be some off the wall stuff.
Funny how if we ask for something we want, its like rejection. They can say no all they want, but if they get told no, look out, they switch that personality around. Just dont get some things and dont know if its worth figuring out. Just wish my family wasnt getting split up.
my stories
M-31 W-28 S7 D2.5 T 8, M 4 W filed 2-14-08 D on hold 3/08 D off hold 5/08 D to be final on/by Nov 08 Anniv 9-4 looked hopeful
I haven't had a chance to catch up like i would like to. I haven't been here in over a month and i've missed a ton. I'll read back over the next few days and catch up before i post more.
Just hang in there and keep praying. God has amazing things in store for you, it's just a matter of being patient enought for him to give them to you.
take care ann
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
Hi - No, I was not at all referring to anything from the Purpose Drive Life. That was just basically a hostile rant from me which I am now not too proud of. There is no need to get agitated by the circumstances which came up in my world earlier this evening. It was a bunch of needless complaining.
I want to do right by my W because I love her every day of the week and every week of the year and so on. The conveyance of that love has been the difficult part. It is all about communication styles. My delivery and her reception and vice versa. We for sure have differing styles and that is perfectly normal. But when you are inflexible with regard to adapting to a foreign or unrecognizable style then therein lies the problem. And I happen to know that the kind of style that I have is in some cases rather atypical to most others. My W is very dismissive to foreign/unrecognizable styles and things. I guess she figures that if she hasn't seen it work sucessfully in the way that I use, then it must be wrong. I hope some of that makes sense. That is the way that I see the inner workings of my sitch. I will turn it all over to God. He welcomes my doing that and I am glad that he does. There is no better friend around.
I look forward to praying for you and the family. You will have a lot of catching up to do. I will be happy to have you posting to me again now that you have returned. Radiate Christ's love.
It has been an exhausting day. I feel good about how things transpired. The Lord brought me through the 'minefield' yet again. My expectations remain nearly nil. I just hope that I get repaid as W promised would occur within 24 hrs. I would like to see her stick by her word. I need some rest. May the Lord provide you all with clarity and peace.
I miss hearing my DD15's voice as it has been a couple of days. It was kind of nice hearing W's today though. I realize that some LBS's have much less contact then I do with my W. I am grateful for that. I love my family.
ann