Wow, you write really well. I really like your analogy about the Darwinian fish--what an absolutely brilliant description of this process.

I'm so sorry for your pain. I hope it helps to channel it into writing as a creative outlet.

M60
H52
D20
M14 yrs
OW-old gf from 1986
bomb-5/18/08
H filed for D-9/10/08
D final 4/24/09
xH remarried (not OW) 2012