Any thoughts on how I can balance GAL when early evening time is dedicated to kids. Do I wait for GAL until after bedtime? Is it okay to not do some of the evening responsibilities (bathing kids, laying them down) and risk the situation I ran into last night
Having that special time with your kids in the evenings can be used for your advantage in showing an enthusiastic and fun person that you can be. Have fun with the kids. While wife may be doing other things, you can play with them or take them our for ice cream or what ever. By all means, help with the baths,etc. If you leave her to do all of that while you go out to GAL, she will resent it very much....and would have a right to. What getting a life is really all about is to show that you are making the most of every day by being fun and enthusiastic and energetic. Be attractive. Did you know that for some women, watching a man play with his children or read to them or whatever.....can be very attractive for the wife? See, I just gave you a tip! That is why you want to always be clean shaven and smell good and dress casual, but nice, even around the house. It is to be attractive in everything you do.....even carrying out the trash! (lol) You never know when she is watching and how it is affecting her. Be on your best behavior and don't act like you are a two-year old when playing with the kids, but surely you know what I am getting at. If you have over active children, then you must work with your wife in getting them to calm down before bedtime. If taking baths is a "playtime" for them and they get all hyper....then they need to get that out of the way and settled down a while before putting them in bed. Bedtime is not the time to get them all hyped up where they want to stay up. It causes irritation for the wife. Sorry, I forget now their ages, but if they are small...a bedtime story or a very short movie to wind down. If older, that usually works better (the movie). Getting a life can be nothing more than going out to the mall and looking at some new clothes. If you like to golf or have some other hobby or sports....do it to get away from the house so that you don't appear to be mopping around. But, don't ignore the needs of the kids. Put them first and even make them part of that getting a life. Hopefully, it will draw the wife into all the fun. Whenever you have a chance to have time for yourself...that's when you find something you enjoy doing.
I know this has just started and you said something about having time for the dust to settle down. This is when you need to study the DR book. So many people misunderstand what Michelle is telling them to do b/c they are hurting and can't focus on anything but the problem right then. So, use your bedtime, or when ever you can consentrate best, to read. Make some goals, etc.
Keep posting here. That is very important. You have a very good chance of your wife staying at home and seeing your improvements. Make a list of things you want to improve about your own personal self....not the wife. Never let her see your DR book or the notes or lists you make. This is for you....not her. Don't give the game plan away.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
