ms ladybug SQUISHED (2)

[Dom R]

Well, I can see the person that I'd LIKE to be. But, how do I go about changing something that is inherently "me"?

first step, is to stop thinking of it as "inherently you"

I can make the "realization" of what humility is. But making the CHANGE is a lot harder than just seeing it in writing.

very, very true.
so, first, you change the outside. try to identify some external reactions that you have, that are contrary to "who you want to be", then focus on changing them.

There are also ways to change your inside... People write about them, when trying to keep a "positive mental attitude", or "acting as if...".
But most people find that it's a lot easier to change the inside, after (or at the same time as) they change the outside.

Also, I'm afraid that doing something that isn't "me" isn't going to last and will look like a false attempt to passify h.

THAT, is why I said that the first(and most important!) step, is to stop thinking of it as "inherently you".


There are lots of different philosophies, and attititudes, that all amount to the same thing.
eg: "You cant quit [xyz] for someone else, you have to do it for you".
Or in more DB terms... erm... well, i forget, but there's some parallel in the books something about not just doing random 180s to fake your spouse out... but only choosing to do ones that you really believe in, and are willing to stand behind.

First, you have to decide "That is who *I* want to be! Because I think I'm a better person that way!"
Then, make your actions start matching your resolve.
Putting a little more humility in your life, is not just about "pacifying H". It's about deciding "this is the way I want to be, for the rest of my life. Whether H is around, or not".
Because these changes aren't just "for H". They will make you a better friend, mother, daughter, employee, ...

Even "friends", usually like to be friends with people who want to share, rather than take over everything.