thank you for being here.. I am so alone right now... somewhere I know I can think on a positive level, I am having such a hard time finding it.. I am losing hope.. and I don't want to.
Me - 38 H-36 DD - 15 S- 19 Together -almost 18 years M - 16 The Bomb - May 24th 2008 Meeting with Michelle July 7, 2008 Status - I moved out Sept 2009
Stop worrying about what you have already done - you can't go back, only forward and don't be so hard on yourself. Put the R talk on the shelf for now - give him some space and give yourself a chance to step back and see what positive things you can do not for yourself that will make a difference to your H. And yes right now he is only thinking about himself - but you telling him that is not going to make things better. He needs to realize it on his own. Take care of yourself. When do you go and see Michelle? Hopefully it is soon.
I think at times like this, when you've just gotten hit hard, the best thing you can do is nothing! Just be still. You need to get over the shock, the frustration, and the hopeless feeling. Give it a little time, while you take care of yourself, and your D. As you take care of yourself, your strength will come back, so that you can start to see your path again.
You won't be alone while you are on this board! In time, you'll build up quite a virtual support system. Read some other threads. Post to people who interest you, or have similar situations, even it it is just to say "hi". You don't have to have the answers to offer a hug! Just look at me!
I am wrong in thinking he is only thinking of himself?
{{{tmarie}}}...
No you aren't wrong about that at all. At this point that is all a WAS is thinking me me me....
You have chose to take your responsiblity for your part, that is a good first step. Remember though it takes to tango & right now he isn't going to admit anything.
Take a deeeeep breathe, take a step back & focus on yourself D and S right now those are the 3 most important things. There all kinds of wonderful people here, they will listen, give advice & opinions and in same cases if it merits it you may get some 2x4's that help you to stop and take a good look at yourself.
Jeff is a good one to have talking to you at this point. As you post more, there will be others come along to help out.
Patience is key, low expectations, & love your kids you have not done anything wrong...
Slow down as I said take a step back and breathe. It took years to get to this point it's going to take time, nobody gets divorced that quick. Talking to a L is just talking, it wouldn't be a bad idea for you to start looking into it just to protect yourself, so you know what to expect. I'm not saying it will happen don't read me wrong, just saying a bit of knowledge doesn't hurt. H doesn't even have to know you did.
Well I have talked to a L.. Some part of my brain is in protection mode. He actually hired the L yesterday... Maybe I should just shut up about R until we see Michele.. Not even mention it.
Me - 38 H-36 DD - 15 S- 19 Together -almost 18 years M - 16 The Bomb - May 24th 2008 Meeting with Michelle July 7, 2008 Status - I moved out Sept 2009
Well I have talked to a L.. Some part of my brain is in protection mode. He actually hired the L yesterday... Maybe I should just shut up about R until we see Michele.. Not even mention it.
{{{tmarie}}}...
At this point don't bring up R talk at all, this will just lead you somewhere you don't want to go right now, leave it up to H to iniate all R talk. You're gonna be okay, I know it doesn't seem that way but it will be in time. As Jeff said there is more time than you think at this point.
