I'd start locking the door too, or like I posted before try walking in on her and see what the reaction is. Would you want your roomate to walk in while you were naked?...right now is that exactly what your wife is. I think you should treat her like a roomate until she realizes that she misses being your wife. Until that happens she wont ever begin to try fixing the mess she has made of things.
You are now the friendly, helpful, good listner and active father that most women would love to have in their lives. She may be starting to wonder who this new guy is but she has created many years in her mind of you being a controlling, uninterested, selfish jerk. Those feelings wont be erased overnight. She is beginning to open up and want to be around you because IMO you have detached a little bit.
That seems to be working well so why not turn it up? Get out! Have fun and let her wonder what you are up to.
