Have court today for my child -- pray for me

[Neilh23]

Mary...i've been keeping up on your sitch for the last couple of weeks. i'm impressed by the changes you've made for yourself. remember, HE is making a mistake, not you. Of course, we all would like to change things...but the past is the past. those who don't understand the past are condemned to repeat it!

and you handle his words great. He's reacting out of anger....and fear. Just keep that in mind.

Yes, he is an ahole. :-)

[spark]

actually, some of the things he said were actually so insane they were funny! he said, "i've never met such a thin woman with cellulite on her butt and saggy boobs". now this is a man who CHASED me for sex for years and ALWAYS bragged to everyone about how gorgeous I was!!


I'm a little worried about money as I've basically been a stay at home mom for past year and a half, but I'm proud of myself that even after today, when I got home, I STILL managed to get 4 hours of work done!

why would he be "angry"? Isn't he getting what he wanted?? sep. papers signed?? why would he lash out like that and go to the lowest of the low?

[spark]

oh, and the only thing I DID say (not db) was, "do you honestly think this chick of yours isn't going to find out how you really are? when the honeymoon phase ends? you are who you are, a control freak. what, do you think you're going to be so different for her?"

he said, "she loves how I am."

whatever.

[Neilh23]

the anger thing...i think...comes from him being angry at himself....subconsciously....and he is taking it out on you. I'm sorry he is doing that......

she might love him as he is now...but that will change. look at what happened with you. and how you changed your attitude towards him. know what i mean?

[spark]

oh, she's in for a treat. his ocd issues, control-freak nature. how he can't handle talking about ANYTHING serious. his real self will come out, trust me. He wooed me in the beginning the same way he's wooing her. I can remember being shocked when the 'real" him came out. by that time I was already pregnant.

it's gonna be real interesting.

oh, and he tells me that he and ow laugh about me all the time and I'm a "sad,desperate woman". lets see...we had a family, I was blindsighted, just FOUR months ago, I found out he's having an affair, he tried to take my kid from me, called social services on me, STOLE my car, lied to me and my dad, lied to me t to try to get me to sign a refi on the house.

given all that, you think I might be "slightly" emotionional from time to time. AND what is amazing, he STILL has not apolozized for any of it and says, he's "sticking it to me" for all the "years" I wasn't "nice" to him.

[Virtually_Handsome]

((((((Maryangela))))))

I think you are seeing things a lot more clearly now, than you were a few weeks ago! It sounds really good to me! I think you finally took the control that he had over you back. I'm glad!

Don't hold your breath waiting for an apology from him!

[kml]

Maryangela -
He has to tell himself all this BS because otherwise, he has to face what a fool he's being. And he must think he's a BIG fool, because he's really reaching on some of this stuff.

Frankly, he sounds a little more mentally unbalanced than the typical WAH. Almost Tourette's-like. (Which can go with OCD).

It is common, though, for the WAS to feel like you "forced" them to have an affair. After all, they weren't happy, they don't know why, so they look around for a reason and the first thing they see is their spouse. So YOU must be the reason they're unhappy, and therefore, YOU caused them to cheat and end up in the mess of divorce.

It is usually a sad thing when they realize later that OP doesn't keep them happy either, and that the unhappiness is within them and travels with them wherever they go.

I repeat my prior advice - this guy is so unhinged, so abusive, that you should be very circumspect about your life until the divorce is final.

Ellie

[spark]

he took my car keys again!!!! now there is a warrant for his arrest. they are going to pick him up tomorrow.

[Virtually_Handsome]

Oh, my!

But, look at this! What did you do this time? Someone has learned a bit in the past few weeks!

(((((maryangela)))))

[Neilh23]

well done Mary....that was probably difficult for you, but it needed to be done. Rememeber, tough love!!!! he can't do these things to you. Never let him!