It takes a while. You will get it. When you stop the R talks, you will see that YOU will feel better. R talks are draining. Hang in there.
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OK, so is seducing him out of the question?
Honestly, I think that depends on if you feel it is helping or not. I think there is a fine line. Does he still feel bad afterwards? I know you mentioned that a few times. How do you feel afterwards? Better or worse?
Personally, I'd keep up the sex as much as possible. Seducing can be done ONLY if it's very subtle (accidental). Obvious seducing will look like persuing.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
I think you have to be careful with sex. if H's resentment is still there- it is not really the time for casual friend sex....as you and he still need to let go of resentment and hurts. i think it is another way of pursuing...or confusing things.. BUT if it works then do it...i just dont want you to feel the HUGE letdown each time....you are doing well ...NO R TALK. He needs to slowly bring his "stuff" to you- it will hurt to hear it but thats all you have to do is hear it and acknowledge HIS feelings...this is not a fast ride- VERY SLOW...even SLOWER with LE!! i am a LE wife too- YIKES- so many os us! and yes- i do agree that they are very private- in fact my H said this on our talk/walk- first time he ever acknowledged it!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
That's why I'm talking about "accidental" seducing. A low cut shirt, some extra buttons undone "accidently". Some cleavage showing. Putting on just a t-shirt and thong panties when he may drop off the kids a bit early. <surprise>. "oh, you're early. let me go get dressed...it's just so HOT in here."
It's not obvious. It's not persuing. Totally an accident.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
I will say that I did the t-shirt and panties thing early in the sep and it totally didn't work. Sex had to be on his terms and HIS moods back then. Worth a try.
((Jeff))
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
OMG, I'm totally having a hard time not blowing wine out my nose right now. LOL
Yep, H is outside playing with the girls as we speak, and I'm inside trying to GAL with you all and drinking some wine.! LOL
So are you saying then my seductions of him coming out of the bathroom and me standing in my cute new panty/bra set were too over the top? LOL It worked. Hey.
Hmmm..... I'll have to see if I can figure out a bit more subtle way! LOL
You guys are cracking me up!
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
