I think you just need to be more evasive however you can be. If it's because he can't get a hold of you on the phone or text or email for days at a time, so be it.
Well, saw my husband tonight. It was our son's 25th birthday, so we got together and had a dinner out and gave him some gifts. My son loves his father so. It was nice to see the two of them together.
I looked as good as I possibly could. I smiled and joked and enjoyed the evening.
Now I'm back home and I'm so sad that my husband does not see me as anything but a friend, and really not a close friend.
Trying to be optimistic and upbeat. But it takes a lot out of me to see him.
Married: 25 years Separated: 5 years Kids: 2, ages 21 and 24 Me: 53 H: 50
Hi I keep saying you can be giving and give him lots of presents and invite him out but that is not going to do it; it's just more of the same behavior which has not worked.
You need to make yourself unavailable. That means NOT inviting him to your concerts and NOT sharing birthday dinner with your sons.
I got the book, Tink, and will start reading it tonight. I'm feeling pretty desperate. I just feel that I'm not ever going to be loved again. I know that I have to love myself to be loveable, but I'm old and I feel very unattractive. I'm exercising and trying to lose weight by eating healthier. It's a slow process.
He gets better and better looking every year.
I will never ever be with him again. That kills me.
Married: 25 years Separated: 5 years Kids: 2, ages 21 and 24 Me: 53 H: 50
You really need to work on your self esteem...beauty really is skin deep...I just had friends...in her sixties and in his eighties get married!...while she might be considered good looking for her age he certainly isn't, in my opinion, physically handsome...but he is very nice and a real kick to be around...which is what attracted them to each other...
You are loved...you have children, I hope you have friends that love you too...I understand the feeling of never ever being with someone you love again...but if you KNOW that to be the case then it really is time to put the focus on you and stop the worry...because that will age you and make you less attractive as a person!
MP - I know how you feel - old and unlovable. I feel the same sometimes. You really need to try to put out the vibes you want to receive back. It is amazing when you do that, it does come back to you threefold. I have a middle son, 22, who has made alot of mistakes and has been in trouble in the past. I was told that I needed to believe that he will do the right thing and find his own way and happiness. I have been doing that and praying for him and I see dramatic changes. You can do the same for yourself. Believe that the best will come to you and think only positive, empowering thoughts, and good things will happen. I don't usually abide by alot of holistic stuff, but the more these things impact my life, the more I begin to believe. I have asked God over and over again for peace with my sitch and it is finally coming. I understand the thought of never being loved again - and I agree with IMLin - but the love of a man and partner is different then all those other loves. I fear never having that again also. If you continue in the negative thinking, though, you will be right. You will manifest what you think. And worry lines are hard to get rid of!!!! Keep exercising - it helps alot! And the healthy eating is critical. Read all about that, the things you eat can really impact how you feel. We are in a similar age bracket and married length - it is very hard, I know. Let's support each other through this - I know we can do it!
Me-48 H-48 Married 25years Sep 12/05 S-24, S-22, S-18, D-12 Dated for 9 months of S, not dating now http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1565826
