Mixed Signals - version ? who's counting

[cat03]

I've learned tons on the co-parenting book for S people. It's a win-win sitch when one is flexible, the kids win, and if you need some flexibility some other time then she'll most likely cooperate. We are not doing this because our spouses are outstanding citizens or because what they've done hasn't hurt us, we do it because the ultimate goal is to keep the children happy. I've learned the kids are mostly traumatized not by the S itself but by the way parents treat each other, if they see resentment and anger they are caught in the middle and might even blame themselves.

If I go a bit out of my way to accomodate stbx is not because he wasn't a complete douche bag with me or a freaking liar, it is because he actually is stepping up and thinking of the kids (sure I'd wish he'd done this sooner, but..). It is what it is, and if going a big out of my way will mean the kids will do better and have more fun, then I'll gladly let it happen.