We really have come a long way - haven't we. I know I was a mess when I started posting. Time really does fly. I can't believe my D was final 5 years ago!
I am flattered that you read my posts. You were ahead of me when I joined the BB and I consider you to be one of the wise oldtimers. You always sound so level headed and handled the OW related issues so well. You worked through it and let it go. And you had a number of other tough circumstances on your plate too. I think it is really great that you can talk about H as being a great Dad and his W in such a detached manner - and even say that she is a great person.
I am finally getting to the point where I can see the good in my M and separate it form the bad - and there is less and less anger. It was just something in my past that didn't work out. And really if he didn't leave - I wouldn't be where I am today. And I like where I am today.
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...as if you can ever really "keep" someone where they don't want to be, physically or emotionally! I certainly won't ever do THAT again! LOL!
I hear you on that one! It is so much nicer to be with someone that respects you, appreciates you and wants to be in your life. I use to define myself by The X deciding to leave - that is NOT going to happen again. That is not to say I won't be hurt if a future R ends. But it won't devastate my sense of self like it did last time.
As for kids, I really like how you describe this part of your life as a phase that want to enjoy. One of my good GF's that I re-connected with recently described her life the same way - that she was enjoying the family phase of her life. That is what I want. I want kids so I can spend time with them and be a part of their lives. They grow and change - and they are suddenly all grown up and gone. That is the main reason I started my own firm and work out of my home. I don't want to leave my kids with nannies. I need to work harder at containing work - and think I will get there soon. Thank you for your vote of confidence. It really does mean a lot to me.
There are times I feel like the whole dating thing is out of phase at this point in my life. I feel like I did all that and tried the M thing - and it didn't quite work out so I am moving on to the next part. I keep making dating a goal - but it feels forced at times. I do need to get out more and have a little more fun in my life. But I don't feel like I am missing out on anything b/c I am not in an R.
I read your posts the last time you posted about your BF. I was very happy to see that you were able to set boundaries and that he respected them. I like how you aren't worried about where it is going and what it means, etc. Barb has an R that is a lot like yours. I know I am not ready for more than that. I am not sure if I will even want more than that - it may change but I am not in a position to make any promises.
I am glad you posted. Thank you for the update. I feel like it is okay to be in an R w/o completely merging my life with another person. I hope you will post periodically about how you are doing. Your post really helped me.
