Thanks GF. I think I am still in a state of shock. I just felt like things were going so well. That was a horrible horrible way to find out and I so wish I hadn't gone to his apartment that night. Although, it wasn't out of the norm for me to just drop by there. He was usually excited when I just showed up.
I truly only think this thing with this new OW (whatever it is) has only been going on for about the past week. That is when H's attitude changed again. One thing I can say about him is that he isn't good at carrying on two relationships at once...maybe the guilt gets to him. Who knows.
Quote:
I think your H's anger is his way of dealing with the hurt, guilt, and disgust he must feel towards himself.
I believe this too. He told me that all this is what he deserves...i'm guessing he is talking about losing me and also the fact that he isn't happy.
H will always have his woe is me attitude. I guess he always did, maybe just hid it better or I overlooked it. I can't overlook it anymore.
I can't forgive him for this second time. It's too much. I actually think it would have been easier if it was the same OW. The fact that it is a different OW shows that he has a problem. Maybe he has always been that way. The majority of our R has been long distance due to me being in college and then him being in the AF. Maybe now he is just getting caught.
It's weird, a part of me is hurting so bad, but another part of me feels relief that I'm not going to have to deal with this anymore. He said he wanted to be my friend and that he couldn't imagine not having me as that. I know him better than anyone. I told him I can't be his friend, at least not right now...I need a clean break. I told him I didn't want to see him for a long time, it is too hard. He said saying I didn't want to see him was a horrible thing to say. I don't get him. He wants me there waiting in the wings until he gets done playing single. I can't do that.
Everyone has their breaking point. No one will blame you. You tried very hard. And you deserve to be treated far better. Not to mention you deserve a break from the stress and drama.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Everyone has their breaking point. No one will blame you. You tried very hard. And you deserve to be treated far better. Not to mention you deserve a break from the stress and drama.
BIG affirmative. (((((Kris)))))
Originally Posted By: klm
He said saying I didn't want to see him was a horrible thing to say.
Wow, what nerve. WTH does he expect you to say then? "Yeah, you hurt me real bad, H, and that's putting it mildly, but it's ok. I'll still be here for you when you need me to be." Geeeeeezzzzzz.
(((((((Hang in there and be strong, Kris)))))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
I guess it makes me feel like a failure. I know that is not true, but still how I feel.
I told her that I felt like a fool for chosing to marry someone who could treat me this way. She said I am not a fool and there is no way I could have known. She said it could happen to anyone. I know all this, but it just helps to hear it sometimes.
We're in "good company". Uhm... Christy Brinkley, Sarah Evans, Shania... ah hell, love her or hate her... even Hillary. All women that had the world by the whahoo, if you know what I mean. All cheated on. They're not failures,... they were failed on by their spouses. We've (men and women here) have been failed by our spouses.
The reality is we live in a world that doesn't value marriage, doesn't value diligence and commitment to relationships. The whole thing is wrapped around the disposable-ness of it.
Keep care of you, it's all we can do.
hugs Abbey
Last edited by Abbey; 06/26/0810:59 AM.
T:22, M:20 H:55 Me:45 H-OW PA: N/07 OW Jan08 Bomb:Feb/08 S: Apr/08 Back together Ap1/09-Sept/11 Oct, 2011, uncertain future/H is a mess. Dec/11 - Doin'friend mode. Some days are better than others.
Wow, what nerve. WTH does he expect you to say then? "Yeah, you hurt me real bad, H, and that's putting it mildly, but it's ok. I'll still be here for you when you need me to be." Geeeeeezzzzzz.
I know!! He is delusional. I really don't get him.
Meeting with the lawyer after work today. Kinda nervous about that. I saw him last night at dinner but he didn't mention anything about it. I am going to get my hair highlighted after the lawyer meeting...so a pretty busy day.
I am not working tomorrow....so TGIF for me!!!! Yay!
I haven't talked to H since Monday. A part of me never wants to talk to him again.
NC is good right now. You need to take care of yourself right now. Any contact with him would only add drama right now, and you are already under enough stress.
(((Kris)))
What kind of highlights are you doing?
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I agree NC is good right now. The fact that I am so busy is helping me with that.
The work trip to Atlanta is on. I will go the week after next. I think it will be a good distration for me. Also the other people going are people my age that work in different parts of the company. I know them a little but haven't really had a whole lot of interaction with them so it will be good to get to know them better.
My hair is naturally pretty blond but every now and then I get some REALLY blond highlights in it, usually in the summer.
I think I am doing pretty good and as soon as this wedding is over I will be much better.
I'm glad you are doing some nice stuff for yourself. Hopefully this work trip will be a nice break from everything, and maybe you can even have some fun with your coworkers.
Good luck with the Lawyer today. I agree, no contact will be best for you. Take care of yourself, Kris.
Chris
__________ Me:39 H:39 D:8 D:4 M:9 (T 13) Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08, Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09 Still doing GREAT a year later!!!
