Balancing the parenting and dating stuff is rough. The timing has been important in my sitch as well.
I do think that parents - mainly women but sometimes men too (I've been guilty of this) - sometimes use their kids as excuses for not getting deeper into a dating R. Reality is that in a marriage, or at least one that will last, it's probably not a good idea to neglect the adult R too much. Some scheduled adult time is necessary, with no child interruptions.
In my sitch, things seem to ebb and flow. Earlier, my GF would almost smother me with time, coming over alone or with her kids, and that caused me to set up some limits. More recently, due to her own stuff, she's spent way more time with her kids and mom, with us having very little time for dating or being alone.
My requests to set aside time for dating and us were translated as being pushy or needy, similar to my view of her earlier in the R.
So I backed away, did trips on my own, booked up my weekends, and let her reach out.
Most recently, she offered the brilliant idea of us setting aside time to date and be alone as adults, not merely as parents (she has 3, I have 1). Without pointing anything out, I merely noted "sure!".
It's not an easy issue, and seems to go back and forth as the need arises b/t the two households (actually more if you consider the X's involved).
