Update from an old friend...

[ALL6785]

Wow what an interesting thread. Don’t worry Bethie, I’m not going to give any speeches on the "Women do better at being along after a divorce than men do” topic. I can see I’m way outnumbered and evidently there a lot of single men out there that don’t know how to take care of themselves. (I guess I’ll just sit home alone and try to convince myself that I’m miserable… Ha! )

They don't dislike HIM personally, but they do dislike the fact that Mom is dating and my time is not 100% theirs. While that in itself is not something I want to give in to - my kids can't make that decision for me, obviously - I also hesitate to bring another source of conflict into my home. Three teenagers is stressful enough! I understand that at their ages they don't want to deal with the possibility of creating space in their lives for a potential step-dad and siblings.

The issue of having kids and dating is a slippery slope for sure. I dated a nice gal for awhile that had 3 not so nice daughters and she told me up front that her kids were not easy and they came first. Well they did everything they could think of to sabotage things. I understand that the kids came first and their needs have to be met but they would be downright unreasonable at times and since I was “so understanding” it was always me that got put on the back burner playing second fiddle. Well, it didn’t take long for that to get really old, and then once she told me that her kids would always come first even after they left home… Throw in a few other issues and the fact that she was very needy… See ya.

I don’t have all the answers but there has to be a fine line here somewhere between our kids needs and wants and who comes first at what point. Maybe these 3 girls can pull mom’s strings but I just couldn’t see any point in letting 3 teenage drama queens run my life, besides I didn’t think it was fair to expose S17 to that kind of behavior.

VJ, I agree with TC that BF is not respecting your boundaries at all. There is a time to discuss things and then there are times when you just need to drop it an let things cool off. There will always be conflict in life, it’s how we deal with conflict that determines how successful a relationship is. Oh ya, I have plenty of wine back at the castle so when you’re ready just say the word and I’ll send ya a bottle or two.