Holding Pattern

[JWS]

Well so far it is going ok. I have laid off trying to talk. I feels like we are just two strangers sorting through someone elses house. It has gotten to me several times and I have had to leave. I went to a funny movie by myself and out to eat with friends. Yesterday I only saw her for about 5 hours it was all I could stand. I know weeks ago I would have killed just to be by her and in a few weeks I may regret wasting these moments. However if I can’t be a strong happy guy I don’t want to see her and every timei look at this woman and don’t see my wife another part of me dies. she is my best friend and that part is going well but I would go nuts trapped withay friend for days not talking and packing away memories. I hope that I doing things right by leaving the house. I am not sure if she wants me saround or not. Every time I leave she either plays her game or watches tv until I get back. I have offerred for her to come just as a fun break to packing but she says no.

I wish I could stay constant on one emotion. The otherday I was a peace. But I keep bouncing back and forth from anger to hurt to scared and everything in between not to mention lust. All of witch seem overwhelming right now.

Well back to packing. I get my palce tonight. Not sure weather to say there or at theold house with her??