Jealousy and insecurity is a major turn off to your wife. Be confident in the place you two have worked so hard to get to and keep those doubts in check. It won't help anyway... if a woman is looking for something else she will find it in a grocery store or at a hockey game just as easily.
I want you to keep exploring the anxiety you feel so that you can be genuinely happy and confident. I swear to you, women and men are different and while the guy on the dance floor may believe that he's gonna "get lucky", there is no amount of alcohol that can make me listen to a jerk with a pick up line trying to hit on a married woman. A dance is a dance. I love to dance. My H... not so much. I used to teach dance and it's a way I express myself... freeing... but not necessarily sexual. Groups of girls get up and dance together with no men all the time. It doesn't matter what the guys are thinking when they watch the hot women. At the end of the night, it's how your wife feels about you. Where ever she is.
As for the other girls "hooking up"... we had to set rules. When we go out together, we return to the hotel together. Absolutely NO hookups invited to our hotel rooms. It's just dangerous for everyone.
I want you to feel truly comfortable so I hope you can find a way to get reassurance without triggering her "spidey sense" about your jealousy and insecurity. I don't believe that "affair-proofing" a marriage is about trying to hold on tighter, but about looking inside ourselves and being the husbands and wives that our spouses would be insane to risk losing.
Anyone can cheat if they want to. Anywhere. It's how we feel inside, about our relationships and ourselves, that determines what we will do... what we want to do. Feeling controlled, trapped, untrusted... like we are invisible outside the confines of the job, home, husband and kids... that's the stuff that make us look for more. Feeling like you have to look for more is the worse feeling in the world.
You have until Fall. If I were you, I'd start doing confidence building exercises and genuinely take active interest in her trip plans as the dates near. Shop with her or buy her a nice pair of earrings or bracelet or purse-- a card to tuck in her suitcase. Maybe send flowers to her hotel room when she arrives so that her single friends are jealous of what she has. DO make sure that you have plans for guy trips! If you guys are in the best place you've been... smile and work on keeping it alive now!
