Well, the big discussion happened tonight. WW convinced she wants D. Asked if I would go to a C to help us work out the details as adults. I said no, my position hasn't changed (see above). Had to say this a few times.
Well we ended up talking for 90 minutes. I validated her feelings, had to express mine on a few things (like how I could not D with kids as I feared it would really impact them). Of course near the end she was taking my justifications for my feelings and turning them into me attacking her and making her feel guilty.
Anyway, she said she doesn't want to work on R. I said I hear you, sorry you feel that way. I, however, cannot agree without turning over every stone to try and make this work. Again, I do not want D. She then said but you will have to accept it to which I said we will each do what we have to.
She got angry with me not agreeing to work with C. I said why, just cause I do not agree and have the balls to stand up for what I believe? Made her more angry.
Anyway that is where we left it. Not sure what will come tomorrow.
Lost,
You handled this beautifully. Phenomenal job!!
I know it hurts, and it's scary as hell to hear the "D-word" actually coming freely out of both of your mouths for the first time.
Now that you've had this talk, unless there's some new, and I mean KEY information, you should really try to refrain from ANY further relationship or D talks. SHE WILL PRESS YOU FOR THEM, trust me. Your recalcitrance will drive her batty, and she's going to keep saying "I can't keep living like this." Your response needs to continue to be "Well you do what you feel you need to do; I don't want a divorce."
If this is what she wants, there's nothing that says you have to make it easy on her.
