Again, not saying you'll make it, but I think this is good. She's realizing that you're standing up for yourself and it sounds like she doesn't like that she's not calling the shots anymore.
She doesn't like it that you're fighting for the marriage and her perfect little plan isn't going the way she wants it to go. Waywards think they can have a happy little divorce and YOU'LL be ok when she shows up at family funcitons with OM on her arm. Let her see that it won't be that way. Has a way of injecting reality into the fantasy.
And if she is dead set on this and you don't make it, you'll be the winner. Because you're here and are learning about yourself and relationships.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.