If anything I have UNDER-dramatized this. I agree, she is really bad.
Her sister, our best friend, my parents and the older couple we are friends with all know every detail and are trying to figure out how we can help her.
I will be here off an on with the girls as much as I can.
I have no plans on walking away and pretending it never happened. I'm not sure where you're going with that comment or if you misinterpreted something I said. I love this woman to death and the last thing I want to do is walk away from her. It's really painful watching her go through this and not being able to help.
For money, when she asks, which is going to be soon I am just going to tell her flat out that she can come get me or I'll come get her and we can go get what she needs and take care of any bills. I will under no circumstances give her any cash at all. I plan on just telling her that I've seen the bank statements and see how much money was spent at the casino and cannot give her cash. I won't attack her about it or criticize, I'm just going to state the reason I cannot give her cash and say nothing more about it. If she tries to get into R talk or talk about the past I'll just validate and backout of it so there's no backsliding.
I predict she will do one of two things. She will attack me and try to start a fight, which I am prepared for or she will break down, which I am also prepared for.
As far as visitation - shes agreed that I am welcome to see the kids anytime. She has never tried to prevent me from seeing them and I don't think she would. If she did I would let L handle it.
Our friend already confronted her yesterday about how she is being towards the kids. My wife was complaining to her about how rotten they were being and acting out to her, but friend basically said that she is over-blowing it and they are not being anywhere near as bad as she is making it out. She said YOU are the one that is acting out and they are feeding off it. W simply changed the subject. So it seems she is starting to wake up to herself. Hopefully this awakening keeps up.
I was packing up the very last of my things, stuff from the bathroom, my vitamins etc. She was actually civil to me tonight, but in a fake good mood which was strange. I'm not going to read into it too much, but I got the impression that she was also nervous, like it was sinking in that this is probably not what she wants.
Our 10 year is coming up so I know that must be weighing on her because we did have big plans for it.
I wish she would just reach out and ask me for help, but I know she has to face up to this herself before she can get any help.
I'm just going to take it day by day.
- Scott
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