Oh geez.....let's see.....9 is fourth grade......3 kids 6 and under.....no, that's not right. In fact, SHE can barely handle them, right?
FOund this: At What Age Can You Leave Children Home Alone? You can check with your state's Department of Social Services to see if your state has a minimum age for leaving children unsupervised. You are likely to find that there is no specific age, although the common recommendation is that children under twelve be provided with appropriate supervision while their parents are away from home. There may also be a suggestion that an older sibling, even if old enough to be left at home alone, is not necessarily an appropriate babysitter for younger siblings.
There is good reason not to set a specific age at which children may be left at home alone. Specifically, no matter what age you pick there will be some children who are not sufficiently mature to look after themselves. It would not be good public policy to effectively grant parents immunity for the consequences of what they know to be poor parenting decisions, merely because a child has reached the age specified in a statute or regulation. Also, the nature and duration of the parents' absence can significantly affect the age at which the child should be left alone. A twelve-year-old may be perfectly comfortable taking care of himself after school until a parent gets home from work, but that does not mean that he's sufficiently mature to stay at home alone while his parents take a two-week tour of Europe.
Significance to Child Custody Cases The proper care and supervision of children, including preteens and teenagers, is a valid subject for child custody litigation. While courts are usually reluctant to put undue weight on a parent's need to use child care, the absence of any supervision is a more serious concern. Thus, when making a custody decision, a court may be inclined to consider a parent's ability and willingness to limit the amount of time the children will be left unsupervised. Parents should consider exploring the possibility of before- and after-school programs, some of which are available directly through the public schools, which may be available at a reasonable cost.
I don't know what to do, I came home from softball game, W dressed up very nice to go out. I was talking to the kids, and I was told that mommy left them at a park by themselves.
I called W and asked her WTF (I didn't say that) I said I want to hear what actually happened. she laughed, and she told me she left the kids for approx 6 minutes, while (she hesitated) she dropped of some charity clothing.
Jeff, it's obvious that you don't think by your comments about her clothing that she was actually dropping off the clothing, but something else. If she actually left her kids alone to be with OM I think that is horrible. And I am also disbelieving that it was 6 minutes-maybe 36 minutes or 56 minutes or something like that, b/c if it was truly 6 minutes at the park I don't believe your kids would have been so worried and told you about it. Maybe your W was planning on 6 minutes and then it turned into longer than that. But you are right, even 6 minutes isn't tolerable. I agree with everything Kat said too. I am so sorry, but I think your W does sound too unstable to watch the kids at this time. I would worry more about protecting the kids now and worry about divorce issues later. You know we all care about you, Jeff!!! karen
I don't know what to do, I came home from softball game, W dressed up very nice to go out. I was talking to the kids, and I was told that mommy left them at a park by themselves.
I called W and asked her WTF (I didn't say that) I said I want to hear what actually happened. she laughed, and she told me she left the kids for approx 6 minutes, while (she hesitated) she dropped of some charity clothing.
Jeff, it's obvious that you don't think by your comments about her clothing that she was actually dropping off the clothing, but something else. If she actually left her kids alone to be with OM I think that is horrible. And I am also disbelieving that it was 6 minutes-maybe 36 minutes or 56 minutes or something like that, b/c if it was truly 6 minutes at the park I don't believe your kids would have been so worried and told you about it. Maybe your W was planning on 6 minutes and then it turned into longer than that. But you are right, even 6 minutes isn't tolerable. I agree with everything Kat said too. I am so sorry, but I think your W does sound too unstable to watch the kids at this time. I would worry more about protecting the kids now and worry about divorce issues later. You know we all care about you, Jeff!!! karen
I'm not going to name any names here, but Jeff there has been a poster on this very forum within the past few months who learned that his wayward wife had sex in the front seat of their family car, while their toddler child slept in the car seat not two feet away from them. I am constantly HORRIFIED to learn what people in affairs will do, and you all know by now my favorite example of the otherwise intelligent and sane adult female astronaut who drove cross-country WEARING AN ADULT DIAPER to go challenge her lover's OW.
Jeff, your wife needs help. Please treat this incident with the seriousness that it deserves!
Oh geez.....let's see.....9 is fourth grade......3 kids 6 and under.....no, that's not right. In fact, SHE can barely handle them, right?
That's a really good point, wdid! If she can't handle the stress of taking care of them, how can she expect a 9 year old do that?
I've read in articles/books that usually about 12 is the age that children are mature enough to take care of themselves, but even if your oldest was 12, which she isn't, I think that it would prob. take someone older than 12 to watch all the children as well.
Thanks everyone, Puppy, Kat, Karen whatdidido, God please watch over these people.
I called child services, closed, special thanks to whatdidido, thank you so much, I called the child abuse neglect hotline you gave me.
They asked if someone else was asked to watch the kids, I said no, (truth) they said in Missouri a child of 8 or older is allowed to watch younger kids, so this incident will not be investigated. They asked if kids were able to get in touch with their mother. I said no - she drove away and left them at the park. I asked if my conversation would be documented, they said only if I wanted to take the time to give them all the info they would document the incident. I said yes, I gave all the names and ages of the kids, my name and work number, my W name, etc.
Thank you all, something is wrong with my W.
FYI: I didn't want to call my W about the situation, but I did because I wanted to hear her story and put it into her head that I know what she did. Totally out of line to do this to kids this age ----- son of a bitch
FYI: all the kids are tucked into bed , all were kissed goodnight and told that they were loved.
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Thank you all for looking in on me Puppy, karen, wdid, kat, lwb, h4h and everyone else, Sara, Cat, Germ, CBK,
Karen, I don't when the incident happened, When I left for softball W was in shorts, when I got home she was is in a dress. The incident where she left the kids at the park could have been anytime during the day.
FYI dress W was wearing when she left last night was the dress she had on when she came over this morning to watch the kids.
I told W not to ever leave the kids by themselves again, if she needs to, she should drop them off at my moms. She said she left D9 in charge before at our house for a short time. I said, look at our house she has a phone; she could go next door to the neighbor (crazy old lady), etc. At the park D9 would have to rely on strangers if anything happened.
W called me this morning about something, I could hear the kids fighting in the background, and our discussion turned to D9 who is mean to her younger siblings, I told W that D9 was unhappy, that's all I said 3 words "D9 is unhappy" and W blew up, said she didn't appreciate me blaming her for D9 (what did I say ?) went right into the speech about how she is with the kids for 12 hours a day and does everything for the kids, (remember this, it keeps coming back). I let her vent and got off the phone with her.
2 minutes later W calls me back and is calmer, I told W D9 lost her Nintendo that D9 has been more noticeably unhappy for a week now, ever since she came back from staying the night at her friends house. W said its D9 hormones starting to kick in. I personally don't know, I will probably bring in someone to help with that talk, I already talked to D9 about hygiene, we discussed her need for some more bras, W picked them up for her. D9 and W don't get along, if anything needs to be said to D9 it's my job no matter what it is or will be.
Just have to get through this summer and life should start settling down. FYI, met a girl named Stephanie. very nice, met her last week, saw her in the cafeteria at work and also met her last night at softball, very nice, red head, kind of quiet (opposite of W), don't worry, I'm still wearing my ring, It will take some time to get my life straight, before anything else.,
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
I know 9 is really young, Jeff, but maybe she could have a cell phone or something and you could program your phone number into it for your D9 to call you if she needs help or if something like that were to happen again? I think they have kid's cell phones--maybe those are easier to use also? Karen
I was thinking of getting s10 one too, one of those cheap Tracfones, you buy a card 4 it every 3mths & you can never go over, it just runs out of minutes. That way you could tell d9 that if she thinks something is wrong or if they are left alone again to call you asap.
My boy just turn 10 and boy! the hormones are starting to kick, I dont' remember punishing him (no wii/dessert/tv) so often, he's turned so rebellious it drives me to tears. So, it sounds almost about time Jeff, it isnt' going to get any easier. I'll be looking for a book about pre-tweens and will let you know, better be prepared for more changes
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
, all were kissed goodnight and told that they were loved.